Where’s My Taily Toy, Bitch

A typical conversation with Manly Man on instant messanger: Him: where is the damn cat toy? Me: what toy? Him: They asked me about it, the taily thing, on a stick Me: who asked you? Him: the cats Me: :confused: Him: what? they were like […]

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To Be A Girl

Me: You so want to be a girl. Him: You already knew that. Me: You could be a lesbian. Him: There is no way I’m giving up my penis. Me: You could be a chick with a dick. Him: I already am!

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In Your Head

While watching Gilmore Girls and commenting on Alexis Blidel. Me: She’s so pretty, like a little porcelain doll, hard to imagine her doing anything dirty in bed. Him: Maybe in your head. ———————- Have you listened to our show from last night? Well get on […]

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Totally Different

Thank you everyone for the congratulations for our anniversary, now onto our regular scheduled programming.   Me: I hate when people dress up their pets. Him: But you want to dress up the cats. Me: That’s different.

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Bun in the Oven

You know what is really funny? Saying this to your husband: Hey hon, did you know there is a bun in the oven? Even when he actually left a hamburger bun in the toaster oven, it was one of those moments I couldn’t let pass […]

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I Selectively Listen

After babbling on about something for a few minutes while I was paying more attention to the computer Manly Man said: I appreciate you pretending like you are listening to me when i’m talking even though you didn’t hear a word i said. Which was […]

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Biding My Time

While watching the end of the movie Se7en because I refused to change the channel even though we own the movie. Me: (saying along with the movie) Oh really? So, what were you doing? Biding your time? Toying with me? Allowing five innocent people to […]

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Professional Ruiner

We were watching Two and a Half Men and Manly Man points out how the canned laughter annoys him and I point out that I never notice it until someone points it out :annoyed: Manly Man: Sorry, I ruin everything. Me: That is what you […]

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