Me: Honey, would you say every kiss really begin with Kay? Him: Usually it begins with Budweiser.
Me: You can suck it. Him: Really? So I can blow you and suck it? Me: Exactly! Him: I’m not aÂ reversibleÂ wet vac.
Latefines: What would Henry Rollins do? Electriceasel: Oh my god! I asked myself that question just before I lost my virginity! Serously. Latefines: LMAO! I’m so glad you’re my friend. Also…if you’re bored.
Him: What was that? Me: Me being sexy. Him: I thought you were having a seizure.
While watching Modern Family. Me: See, you need to get your kid drunk when they are young so it teaches them how awful it can be. Manly Man: I don’t think that’s a good idea. Me: The kid gets drunk, throws up and learns their lesson. Manly Man: Yeah, like you? Me: Ok, bad example.
Must clarify that this came about because we were watching The Big Bang Theory and I must also note I’ve never watched a single episode of Star Trek other than the animated episode that Gwen forced me to watch. Him: Do you even know who Wil Wheaton is? Me: Of course I do. Him: Well? …
We were watching the show Life on the Discovery Channel (btw if you havenâ€™t seen the show itâ€™s a must see) and there were these huge bees who fight other male bees over one female until death. There are also these birds, the males, who build a house for the chick (see what I did …
Me: Did you know a cat can be bipolar? Manly Man: Yeah? Me: I think that explains Aurora. Manly Man: I don’t know… Me: I figure it’s easier to say she’s chemically imbalanced than just a bitch. Manly Man: Just like you?
Me: â€¦and then Sheldon put on a black suit and he looked so hot. Manly Man: Hot? Me: Uhâ€¦yeah!?! Manly Man: He looks like a turtle. Me: Iâ€™m telling Gwen you said that! ps. You should know a lot of our conversations end with â€œIâ€™m going to tell Gwen you said that!â€
Me: (to Manly Man) You should start wearing a beanie. Him: You should start wearing a collar that shocks you when you say things like that.