Life is Not a Movie

I love television. I’ve always loved television. I think there is something about a tv show and how you get to go along on this journey, for several years, with characters that you grow to love. It’s like they sort of become your friends, like you went through what they went through along with them.

I don’t always watch quality tv but when I really get into a show it has to move me in many different ways. The show has to have characters I grow to love and it has to bring out a strong emotion in me. If it’s a comedy show, I want to laugh, out loud. If it’s a drama I want to get chills or get mad or cry. I want to feel what they are feeling, I want to forget they are actors and get into the story. I think it’s a part of my Pisces escapism, I like to escape into my shows.

I get really excited to get the people I care about to watch the shows that I know is something amazing. It’s part just me wanting to share something I like and part me just not wanting them to miss out on a great show. I don’t recommend every show to every friend, I know some of my friends just won’t get into something like Skins.

Whether it’s silly or not (I’m pretty sure it’s kind of silly) my feelings get hurt when I feel friends of mine brush me off when I suggest a show. So often when a friend suggests a show for me to watch I’ll consider it and usually give it a try. Right now I’m trying out Veronica Mars and kind of liking it I think. I also have Dr. Who in my queue (Netflix that is), which I’m skeptical about but I’m all up for trying something new.

I don’t mean to say everyone has to watch everything I ever suggest but just maybe some people could give back just a little bit of what they get. Maybe once and a while the street could go both ways, I’m just sayin. Some of the best movies and shows I’ve seen were recommended to me by a friend and I think if I just shrugged them off, I never would have seen it.

How are any friendships supposed to work if we don’t share with each other and give a shit about what the other one gives a shit about? It’s a give and take. It’s being involved. It’s once and a while saying “yeah, I think I will give that a gry, thanks!”

Bored? Or would you prefer?

I went out for drinks and good conversation with a new friend of mine. I met her a few months ago because I noticed she was a friend on my facebook, that she was a photographer and that she lived right down the street from me. We hit it off and she’s sort of become my mentor in a way. That term mentor sounds kind of lame but given all she’s teached me and how happy she is to help me I think that’s the best way to describe her.

There are a lot of things I appreciate about my friendship with her. I think she’s really funny and smart. I think her photography is some of the best I’ve seen in the portrait photography world. She’s always happy to lend some expertise and never talks down to me.

What I like most about her though is how at ease she is with everyone around her. She’s a little older than me so I think it has something to do with age. It seems to me that with age you care less and less about the trivial things. I realized that is something I’ve been trying to acheive for years and letting go of certain friends in my life was an important part of that step.

I told her about some issues I was having with these friends of mine from back in my college days who I can’t seem to get rid of (apparently just ignoring them isn’t enough). They are still in this petty/childish mentality that I want nothing to do with. I told her that they keep including me in these Facebook messages and while I ignore the messages I really want to be left out.

Her thoughts on how to deal with this? Just ignore them.

Like it’s that easy. Just pretend those messages don’t keep showing up on Facebook? Just, you know, delete?

She said “yeah” it was that easy. She also suggested deleting them although I’ve learned that it doesn’t stop you from being included on messages as long as one person in the group is friends with you.

After a few lovely flirtinis that night and the most delicious mussels I came home thinking about how I hoped as I got older that one of the things that came along with age was also the sense to just walk away. I know I’m much better at dealing with these things than I was 10 years ago and I hope in another 10 years I can be in a more zen place and just let things fall as they may.

I can’t even imagine that, I’ve always been an anxious person who worries all the time what others think of her. Is it possible that with age that will go away? I really hope so because it’s honestly not who I want to be anymore, not that it ever worked for me or anything.

So I have hopes that from now on I can just DELETE and walk away from now on. DELETE is such a powerful thing. I just hope I don’t have to paint any fences.

Bored? Or would you prefer?