Archive for ‘Listen Up’

August 30th, 2010

My Mission in Life

tvshows

 

I love television. I’ve always loved television. I think there is something about a tv show and how you get to go along on this journey, for several years, with characters that you grow to love. It’s like they sort of become your friends, like you went through what they went through along with them.

I don’t always watch quality tv but when I really get into a show it has to move me in many different ways. The show has to have characters I grow to love and it has to bring out a strong emotion in me. If it’s a comedy show, I want to laugh, out loud. If it’s a drama I want to get chills or get mad or cry. I want to feel what they are feeling, I want to forget they are actors and get into the story. I think it’s a part of my Pisces escapism, I like to escape into my shows.

I get really excited to get the people I care about to watch the shows that I know is something amazing. It’s part just me wanting to share something I like and part me just not wanting them to miss out on a great show. I don’t recommend every show to every friend, I know some of my friends just won’t get into something like Skins.

Whether it’s silly or not (I’m pretty sure it’s kind of silly) my feelings get hurt when I feel friends of mine brush me off when I suggest a show. So often when a friend suggests a show for me to watch I’ll consider it and usually give it a try. Right now I’m trying out Veronica Mars and kind of liking it I think. I also have Dr. Who in my queue (Netflix that is), which I’m skeptical about but I’m all up for trying something new.

I don’t mean to say everyone has to watch everything I ever suggest but just maybe some people could give back just a little bit of what they get. Maybe once and a while the street could go both ways, I’m just sayin. Some of the best movies and shows I’ve seen were recommended to me by a friend and I think if I just shrugged them off, I never would have seen it.

How are any friendships supposed to work if we don’t share with each other and give a shit about what the other one gives a shit about? It’s a give and take. It’s being involved. It’s once and a while saying “yeah, I think I will give that a gry, thanks!”

Bored? Or would you prefer?

August 9th, 2010

Wax On Press Delete

I went out for drinks and good conversation with a new friend of mine. I met her a few months ago because I noticed she was a friend on my facebook, that she was a photographer and that she lived right down the street from me. We hit it off and she’s sort of become my mentor in a way. That term mentor sounds kind of lame but given all she’s teached me and how happy she is to help me I think that’s the best way to describe her.

There are a lot of things I appreciate about my friendship with her. I think she’s really funny and smart. I think her photography is some of the best I’ve seen in the portrait photography world. She’s always happy to lend some expertise and never talks down to me.

What I like most about her though is how at ease she is with everyone around her. She’s a little older than me so I think it has something to do with age. It seems to me that with age you care less and less about the trivial things. I realized that is something I’ve been trying to acheive for years and letting go of certain friends in my life was an important part of that step.

I told her about some issues I was having with these friends of mine from back in my college days who I can’t seem to get rid of (apparently just ignoring them isn’t enough). They are still in this petty/childish mentality that I want nothing to do with. I told her that they keep including me in these Facebook messages and while I ignore the messages I really want to be left out.

Her thoughts on how to deal with this? Just ignore them.

Like it’s that easy. Just pretend those messages don’t keep showing up on Facebook? Just, you know, delete?

She said “yeah” it was that easy. She also suggested deleting them although I’ve learned that it doesn’t stop you from being included on messages as long as one person in the group is friends with you.

After a few lovely flirtinis that night and the most delicious mussels I came home thinking about how I hoped as I got older that one of the things that came along with age was also the sense to just walk away. I know I’m much better at dealing with these things than I was 10 years ago and I hope in another 10 years I can be in a more zen place and just let things fall as they may.

I can’t even imagine that, I’ve always been an anxious person who worries all the time what others think of her. Is it possible that with age that will go away? I really hope so because it’s honestly not who I want to be anymore, not that it ever worked for me or anything.

So I have hopes that from now on I can just DELETE and walk away from now on. DELETE is such a powerful thing. I just hope I don’t have to paint any fences.

Bored? Or would you prefer?

June 23rd, 2010

My Fake Confidence

I’m not a very confident person, I never have been. I mean, I’ve had my things that I’ve had confidence with but they were always few and far between. I’ve always thought I’ve had a knack for reviewing movies, in some ways I think I could have made it a career if I had wanted it bad enough. I’d always thought I was a great dancer but over the past few years, getting older, I don’t think I move like I used to.

For a while now I’ve been really faking my confidence with photography. Manly Man always says if it’s something you don’t think you can do, just pretend you can. So I’ve been pretending and along with all this pretending I guess I started learning stuff. How did that happen?

I still find myself out in the trenches taking pictures of kids, families and couples thinking “do these people realize I am just imitating a photographer and that I’m not actually a photographer?” I find myself confused and lost and wondering every single time I’m doing a shoot that I’m going to totally fuck this up. I’m going to take horrible pictures and the clients are going to be really pissed.

Then I come home. I download all the pictures off my camera. Sometimes I peak but often I wait until the next day to see how much I screwed it up. The next day I force myself to sit and look through the pictures and I find myself thinking “did I really take these pictures?”

Then this weekend, suddenly out of nowhere, I had real confidence about my pictures.

Ok so I am not bursting at the seems about my photography. I don’t think I’m the best there is or that I’m the next Annie Lebowitz or anything. In fact I still have a lot of fear and anxiety about the entire thing. I still don’t know where I’m going with it all.

But dam, I got some good shots.

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Pictures by Accidental Beauty Photography.

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June 22nd, 2010

What a Day it Was

What a day it was. I remember so little of it. I remember how everyone giggled when they heard our vows. I remember tripping on my train during our first dance. I remember scarfing down our food at dinner because we knew we’d be pulled away any minute. I remember how incredibly handsome you looked in your bowless tux and converse sneakers. I remember you commenting on my endless cleavage.

When I think sometimes about what we went through to have that big wedding and how much easier it would have been to scrap that plan I think we wouldn’t have all those memories. Plus, I always enjoy seeing you in a tux ;)

Happy 2 year wedding anniversary.

 

What?

You’re married now so you can kiss
But please make sure you do not miss!

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May 25th, 2010

Because the Finales Have to Come Eventually

I hate this time of years. Yeah the weather is better and there are trees full bloom but then also all my shows end for the year. I am not a fan of this, if I could I would have my shows go all year long and never end. But they must happen, I suppose, so here are my thoughts if you care.

Desperate Housewives: The show has taken desperate to a whole new level. I don’t care like I used to but I will most likely watch it until the end now that I’m invested. It’s a damn good thing I don’t have to pay for each show separately.

House: I really expected a cliff hanger, like they usually do and it just kind of whimpered at the end. I mean in one way it was sweet and had to happen eventually but it was just too easy and had so little umph to it. At the very least if you are going to go that direction I want it to knock my socks off. You know?

Modern Family: It was funny, that’s all I expect from them and I got that in spades.

Cougar Town: I think they got her together with that guy (too lazy to look up his name) too quickly, just my opinion but then I’m from the Rachel and Ross generation (did I just say that?).

How I Met Your Mother: Was I the only one who cringed every time Lily said “put a baby in my belly?” Please, don’t put anything in my belly but cheesecake and bagels. Oh and am I the only one totally excited to actually see Barney’s doppelganger?

Two and a Half Men: I simply just don’t care anymore, which makes me sad because I really used to love this show and it’s jumped the shark.

The Big Bang Theory: I’m loving the Mayim Bialik (Blossom) storyline and I love that they are both asexual. That is the only way any kind of romantic pair-up will work for me with Sheldon.

I feel like I’m missing a finale but I can’t think of what it would be. I am looking forward to my summer shows like Mad Men, Weeds and maybe My Boys…if that is even still around.

Now I need a new show for the summer and am taking suggestions. Im thinking maybe The Mentalist or Breaking Bad or maybe something like NCIS. Maybe we’ll try them all out. No, I don’t want to watch It’s Always Sunny in Philidelphia. I can just tell from a mile away this is not my kind of show.

Bored? Or would you prefer?

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