I guess I have high standards for friends, which is why I have very few. I’m ok with that but it also means from time to time friendships end. I hate that, I never get over the loss of a once really close friend. I have 2 really close friends from my past that, at least for now, we aren’t even speaking and I feel sad about this all the time. I can get over the loss of a boyfriend but a true friend is one that is hard to let go of.
You keep thinking about all the great moments you had together and it feels like giving up on your relationship is washing away those moments. I know this isn’t really true but it feels like it, it feels like all those times you laughed and cried together are worth more than whatever is missing right now.
My basic needs in a friendship are as follows:
- An even playing field – If I feel for a long time that I’m giving way more than I get then things start to break apart and resentment ensues. Granted sometimes I think I try to hard and that’s when I pull back.
- Needing each other – Really true friends need each other and reach out to each other. When that isn’t there then a lot is missing.
- Being there – Knowing that your friend will always be right there when you need them and you don’t even have to ask. That they can just tell that at this moment you need someone to make the load a little lighter.
- Make you laugh – I think that is just a given with any relationship.
I could probably have a much longer list if I really dug in but these were the things that came to my mind immediately. Friendship is so important to me and because it is I think I get let down so much. No matter how close a friend seems there is no guarantee you’ll grow old together.
