The last few months have obviously been really hard for me and because of all the pain I’ve been in I’ve kind of given up. Luckily I didn’t gain any weight but I didn’t really lose any weight either. I’ve been so miserable and in pain that I’ve been feeding the pain with food that isn’t good for me. I knew that going to the gym could help my back but I was just so depressed and so done with everything that I just stopped trying. It also didn’t help how tired I was all the time because somehow constant pain is exhausting.
Now that I am starting to feel better again, or at least slowly feeling better, it’s like the black cloud is fading away. The last couple of days I’ve had so much more energy and have genuinely wanted to eat better and go to the gym. I feel lighter and quite honestly, alive. The past few months I’ve felt like I was a zombie wandering around day after day.
I want to get into a routine of going to the gym but I don’t want to force it on myself because that never works. I actually like going to the gym, but when I turn it into a chore that’s when it all falls apart. I also want to keep track of what I eat everyday, which is easy to do at first and also easy to let fall by the wayside.
I’m on the site LoseIt in case anyone wants to join me! I don’t want to wander around in a fog anymore, I want to be aware and be present.