50 Shades of Ugh



So I’m only like a 4th of the way into the book and I haven’t even gotten to the kinky stuff yet. I have to point out already the stuff that is irritating the fuck out of me. I want to also point out that I do have the ability to suspend belief and gloss over stuff. I never notice on my tv shows that the actors playing teenagers don’t really look like teenagers but grown adults, however Manly Man always notices this and points it out to my dismay. Problem is, I can’t ignore bad dialogue, I have to believe that the lines being spoken are what people would actually say in that situation. I also can’t deal with adjectives and phrases being used over and over again, it’s grating.

I don’t know if these things bother me because I was an English major and have been writing since the age I could…well…write. Either way, I can’t seem to get past it. I’m hoping the smut picks up and can stop noticing the horrid writing.

Things that already irritate me:

  • She referred to her “satchel”
  • She mentioned she’s clumsy, what is with these chicks having to be clumsy?
  • She also loves the word murmur just like the Twilight twat.
  • She keeps saying over and over again how handsome Christian is. Listen, you shouldn’t have to keep telling me, the writing should infer that.
  • So far Christian is a dickhead, did anyone else notice this? He keeps making demands of her.
  • The name Anastasia Steele is so completely and utterly ridiculous, how can I take that seriously?
  • I think the inner dialogue is the worst part. It’s so bad sometimes I’m tempted to skip ahead but the whole damn thing is inner dialogue.
  • “Laters baby” I just about gagged.


  1. Alissa

    July 25, 2012 at 9:40 am

    I heard the woman was British too and you could tell that she was using words that American’s don’t particularly use, even though the book is set in the USA (I think!). Yes, I agree though, it was really hard to get past the bad writing. Honestly, the only reason this book sells is because it made dirty main stream. 

    1. Robin

      July 25, 2012 at 9:50 am

       Yes, she does do that and it is set in America. Maybe this can encourage more quality writers to write some smut, I certainly don’t mind that aspect. Until then just read Anais Nin, that shit is HOT.

      1. Alissa

        July 25, 2012 at 10:01 am

        Thanks for the recommendation! I must check that out!

    1. Liz

      August 5, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      Hahahaha. Oh man.

      Have you guys seen “Gilber Gottfried Reads 50 Shades of Grey”? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA

      You’re welcome.

      1. Robin

        August 6, 2012 at 12:08 pm

         It was recommended to me before, it was so funny!

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