My Hypo Life

Maybe it’s me being really sensitive, it’s been known to happen, but I get the feeling that some people just assume that if you are overweight it means you aren’t trying to be healthy. I admit, I’m not perfect, I make mistakes but just about every single day I am trying and trying really hard.

I think it’s important to understand that not everyone has the same struggle with weight loss. Things that factor in are age, genes, illnesses and lifestyle. I’m 34, which means my metabolism has slowed almost entirely so most of what I do makes no difference in weight loss. I have shitty genes which have made it difficult my whole life. I have hypothyroidism, which I’ve written about before, sometimes it drags me down so much I can barely function much less go to the gym. I work 40 hours a week and commute between 10 and 20 hours a week. By the time I get off of the highway (with still 20 minutes to drive home) sometimes I just can’t get to the gym. I suppose you can still hold that one over me but add in the hypothyroidism I am nearly falling asleep at the wheel.

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Right now I feel drained and weak, like my arms have weights attached to the wrists. Truthfully, this may be because of the croissant I had this morning, which wasn’t a good idea but I didn’t leave enough time to get ready this morning and was rushed. I was already hungry on the road after 20 minutes and knew I’d go nuts stuck on the highway. Still, this was my bad and I knew it at the time. I got myself a smoothie from Starbucks later though.

Sometimes I feel like I’m lazy and pathetic, maybe that’s part of it but I know that it’s so much more than that. I know I’m not just lazy but that I feel like I’m being dragged down sometimes. It’s not just being tired a lot but feeling lightheaded, foggy and drained. The best way I could explain it would be to suggest you walk around carrying a 20 lb weight on your back. I remember how it felt not to have this so I know there is a better way to live.

I probably need to find the right doctor, because the doctors I’ve found haven’t helped at all. I need to figure out what can get me out of the fog and what can give me more energy, it’s often avoiding sugar and white flour. Problem is I’m already at a point where I constantly crave it but I do a pretty good job of avoiding it.

So when people treat me like I’m not trying I want to cry, if you only fucking knew.


  • http://flavors.me/atxtrina Trina

    I totally understand how you feel! I felt the same way, and knew that I shouldn’t be this tired, achy, hungry. I would sleep 10 hours, nap 2 hours and ate ate ate. I thought perhaps it was my depression, but I was feeling alright mood-wise… sort of. 

    I finally pushed (and man, did I PUSH) myself to the gym, to just get up and GO. That’s when I realized that if I woke up super early in the morning (4:30am), I would be too sleepy to even realize I was going to the gym. Next thing I knew, I was at the gym and sweating my butt off before my day even started. It was hard. It sucked and I hated every minute of it. But knowing that I could do it was a great motivator to keep doing it. And honestly, I wouldn’t be at the gym at 4:45 in the morning if it weren’t for my husband’s encouragement and driving.

    But, I was working out six days a week, 2 hours at a time. In the month I started, I only managed to lose 5 measly lbs. Something told me that this wasn’t right. Then, I started reading about hormonal imbalances. Turns out that with my PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), my hormones were very out of whack (I didn’t ever think they would be! I mean, 40 year old ladies go through that, I’m barely 30!). I found an amazing gynecologist who really listened to my struggles. He and his staff have been a blessing! I’m currently on Armour (a thyroid pill, b/c I have hypothyroidism, too) and taking an all natural supplement called D-Chirol-Inositol to balance out my hormones. Since I started taking these pills in February, I’ve lost an additional 15 lbs by working out only 4x a week for 45min at most. Even my crazy sugar cravings have disappeared and I finally feel normal! I’m not moody, I have energy to go work out, I sleep 8 hours like a baby and wake up ready to conquer the day. It’s such a relief! I’m still learning to eat better (I do love my carbs!), but I have more healthy eating days than bad ones and that’s progress :)
    I suggest finding a gynecologist that is pro all natural remedies and specializes in hormonal imbalances. It may help, it may not, but I learned that only a doctor can help figure out what’s wrong. If you’ve had bad doctors before, keep on searching. I had to go through five gynecologists before I found The One.I hope you find relief and manage to feel better. Don’t think you can’t, because YOU CAN. I hate to sound so annoyingly positive, but I’ve witnessed so many people who were overweight or obese their entire life and were finally able to be healthy and fit; not thin, but healthy enough to run miles, climb mountains and jump for joy. You can do it, don’t ever, ever give up!

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

      Thank you for that, it’s great to read. It’s strange to me though that you went to a gyno for all of this, I’ve been told to go to a endocrinologist but so far I haven’t found one that seems to work best for me. I really really wish I could get up at 4:30, go to the gym, then drive another hour to work and work 8 hours and come home. I really do. For one thing I can barely get up in time to leave for 6am and on top of that I have constant allergies, particularly in the morning. Mornings would work so much better for me if I could do that. Where did you get the D-chiro-inositol? I asked my regular doctor about the Armour and she said that was stronger than I needed or something. Oddly, I’m only borderline hypo but I get the feeling that doesn’t mean a whole lot. I think I may have found another good endo and I also have an appt with my regular dr for a checkup so I’ll get my levels tested. I’m glad to see someone found their way out of the fog, I know I can do it I just haven’t figured it out yet.

      • http://flavors.me/atxtrina Trina

        I was iffy about visiting a gyno for what I was going through, but they were different. My doctor is really against pumping someone full of medications to help whatever ails them (something I’m against as well), and has been a great support system for guiding me into eating healthier. He only prescribed Armour because he saw my hypothyroidism was pretty gnarly, but my hormone levels should be normal enough to where I can stop taking it next month. http://www.hormonedoctoraustin.com/about. Maybe you could find one similar to them where you live?

        • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

           It’s hard when the doctors you talk to blow you off when you bring stuff up. I’m going to find a new doctor and go from there. It’s so much work and it’s so frustrating because it’s hard enough with working, commuting and trying to get to the gym without having to go to ANOTHER doctor. I gotta keep trying though.