I Want To Be Free

| April 10, 2012 | 6 comments

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I want to be free of the depression that is consuming me. I want to be free of the hold my father has over me. I want to be free of the judgement from people that Manly Man can’t find work. I want to be free of the desperate need to feed my stress day in and day out. I want to be free of the exhaustion and the hopelessness.

Yes folks, this is an uplifting post for ya!

It’s been more than 3 years now that Manly Man hasn’t been able to find work. I know that people blame him including my father and who knows who else. I know they think this but there is nothing I can really say. I know he’s tried really hard and I know how desperate it is out there. I also know we’re in a situation right now where he has no car, which only makes the situation that much worse.

The only thing that keeps me from completely shutting down is spending time with my husband, my furkids and my friends. Also what cures some of the hours I could be spending over-thinking everything is taking photography, watching favorite shows and reading. This, so far, is what is keeping me from a complete and utter breakdown.

I keep telling myself things will get better but it’s awful hard to believe after more than 3 years.

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I Want To Be Free was posted on April 10, 2012 at 9:47 am in Body and Soul and. It was last modified on April 10, 2012 at 9:47 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your site.

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  • http://www.rawrings.com/ Alissa M.

    Get the book, “Feeling Good”. 
    http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334070197&sr=8-1 It's cheaper than a therapist and it’s helped me tremendously as long as you’re willing to do the work. 

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

       I will definitely check that out.

  • http://twitter.com/elizabethbarone Liz

    Three years is a long time. *hugs*

    Are there any job placement assistance programs in your area? I don’t just mean temp. agencies; the community college I graduated from, for example, has a job placement office that students and alumni can use.

    Also, I know how much it sucks not to be able to find a job in the field of his choice, but is there a possibility that he could take something in another field, at least while he keeps looking in his field? There are, for example, tons of manufacturing jobs in my area, and recently, programs have been put into place to help people train for those positions. It’s really great money — like, insanely good — and pretty easy, albeit hands-on (and of course you have to practice basic safety).

    Tell me to shut up at any moment if this is one of those “Just help me by listening” situations.

    I’m here for you. *hugs*

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

      Well he didn’t go to a college, he went to a trade school, so he isn’t an alumni. He has been trying to get any work he can get for the past like 2 years now. He’s tried dishwashers, pizza delivery and Target, none have called him back. He goes in person almost everytime, it doesn’t matter. I assume it has to do with his age or his experience, not sure.

  • http://www.avitable.com Avitable

    Is he going to interviews naked?  Because I think that could totally be the issue.

    Seriously, though – three years is a long time and you’ve been hanging in there and being strong.  Maybe it’s time to move away?  Or for him to check out a job out of town for a while?  

    You’ll get there.  You guys will be okay.  I know it.

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

       I will suggest the naked thing. Yeah thanks, i just keeping thinking it will happen soon and then it doesn’t so it gets frustrating. I think we’re doing better than I would have thought. I’d be open for anything but problem is we own our house, makes it hard to move. We’re considering anything and everything. If we move he’ll have a harder time seeing his daughter too, which adds to the complications.

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