I Want To Be Free

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I want to be free of the depression that is consuming me. I want to be free of the hold my father has over me. I want to be free of the judgement from people that Manly Man can’t find work. I want to be free of the desperate need to feed my stress day in and day out. I want to be free of the exhaustion and the hopelessness.

Yes folks, this is an uplifting post for ya!

It’s been more than 3 years now that Manly Man hasn’t been able to find work. I know that people blame him including my father and who knows who else. I know they think this but there is nothing I can really say. I know he’s tried really hard and I know how desperate it is out there. I also know we’re in a situation right now where he has no car, which only makes the situation that much worse.

The only thing that keeps me from completely shutting down is spending time with my husband, my furkids and my friends. Also what cures some of the hours I could be spending over-thinking everything is taking photography, watching favorite shows and reading. This, so far, is what is keeping me from a complete and utter breakdown.

I keep telling myself things will get better but it’s awful hard to believe after more than 3 years.


  1. Alissa M.

    April 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm

    Get the book, “Feeling Good”. 
    http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334070197&sr=8-1 It's cheaper than a therapist and it’s helped me tremendously as long as you’re willing to do the work. 

    1. Robin

      April 10, 2012 at 3:12 pm

       I will definitely check that out.

  2. Liz

    April 15, 2012 at 10:01 pm

    Three years is a long time. *hugs*

    Are there any job placement assistance programs in your area? I don’t just mean temp. agencies; the community college I graduated from, for example, has a job placement office that students and alumni can use.

    Also, I know how much it sucks not to be able to find a job in the field of his choice, but is there a possibility that he could take something in another field, at least while he keeps looking in his field? There are, for example, tons of manufacturing jobs in my area, and recently, programs have been put into place to help people train for those positions. It’s really great money — like, insanely good — and pretty easy, albeit hands-on (and of course you have to practice basic safety).

    Tell me to shut up at any moment if this is one of those “Just help me by listening” situations.

    I’m here for you. *hugs*

    1. Robin

      April 16, 2012 at 12:52 pm

      Well he didn’t go to a college, he went to a trade school, so he isn’t an alumni. He has been trying to get any work he can get for the past like 2 years now. He’s tried dishwashers, pizza delivery and Target, none have called him back. He goes in person almost everytime, it doesn’t matter. I assume it has to do with his age or his experience, not sure.

  3. Avitable

    April 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm

    Is he going to interviews naked?  Because I think that could totally be the issue.

    Seriously, though – three years is a long time and you’ve been hanging in there and being strong.  Maybe it’s time to move away?  Or for him to check out a job out of town for a while?  

    You’ll get there.  You guys will be okay.  I know it.

    1. Robin

      April 20, 2012 at 4:47 pm

       I will suggest the naked thing. Yeah thanks, i just keeping thinking it will happen soon and then it doesn’t so it gets frustrating. I think we’re doing better than I would have thought. I’d be open for anything but problem is we own our house, makes it hard to move. We’re considering anything and everything. If we move he’ll have a harder time seeing his daughter too, which adds to the complications.

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