Condemning Thoughts

There is a topic I’ve wanted to talk about for a while but just haven’t gotten around to it. Luckily Avitable wrote about the same thing recently so I decided I’d try to put my opinion about this into words.

First I need to explain that I do not think the act of pedophilia is ok. I think any kind of abuse against children is inexcusable and should warrant a person to be locked up for the rest of their life. I don’t care what happened to you as a child or how mentally ill you are, it’s never ever ok.

I do want to emphasize that I believe we can’t condemn someone for their thoughts or their urges. I imagine there are quite a few people with pedophile thoughts who never act on them. As humans we sometimes have thoughts that if we acted on them we might get arrested or killed.

I was listening to a Savage Love Podcast once and a guy called in to say he had pedophile thoughts and wanted to get help but was worried he’d be arrested if he stepped forward. This is my problem with this, we make it basically impossible for anyone to get help for anything but we speak about wanting to stop horrible things from ever happening again.

It’s like the school shootings for me. We don’t want to help children when they are being bullied or have compassion for those who feel left out but we sure want answers for when the shit blows up in our faces. We don’t want to even consider going to the root of the problem, we just want to complain after-the-fact.

I honestly don’t believe this will ever change because this topic is not something I think we as a society can ever stop and try to understand it. It’s something we don’t want to understand or even hear about, we want to pretend like it’s something monster that doesn’t really exist.

But it does exist and it won’t go away just because we will it to, just because we “won’t stand for it.”


  1. Pauline

    November 18, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Crime is more complicated than many people think and just locking people away without any other assistance doesn’t stop crime. In Canada, our current conservative government has created stricter penalties and harsher sentences for offenders to garner more votes. It sounds ‘just’ in theory but in reality it causes more overcrowding in prisons and doesn’t solve the root of the problem. (Plus, there have been cases where innocent people have gone to prison for crimes they didn’t commit)

    Some criminals are clincally psychopathic and will never change, but for many they need therapy and rehabilitation to intergrate into regular society. There also needs to be more money put towards social services and education as a preventative measure.

  2. Trina

    November 18, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    I totally agree with your post and Pauline’s comment.
    As a parent, I find it very hard to think that if anything ever happened to my son that involved pedophilia, I wouldn’t want the person that harmed my kid to be killed by own hands. Mama Bear instinct. So I understand when parents can only think of ‘Lock him up! Kill him!’. But it would take a very strong and smart parent to not only say ‘Punish him!’, but ‘Help him!’ as well.
    It’s hard to believe that this is how society behaves, but we are impulsive and repulsive creatures and it’s not until after-the-fact that we realize what we could’ve done differently 🙁

    1. Robin

      November 19, 2010 at 3:26 pm

      I’m glad I have such intelligent friends in my life like you.

  3. Grant

    November 19, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    Only two comments? The Internet must be pedophiled out. Maybe you should try posting a pro-stance to see how it fares.

    1. Robin

      November 19, 2010 at 3:23 pm

      I know, blogging has become so sad. I try to just write for myself, which I do initially, but it’s nice having people share their opinions with your thoughts.

  4. Avitable

    November 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    You misunderstood my post. I was writing about podophilia, the love of feet.

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