Wax On Press Delete

I went out for drinks and good conversation with a new friend of mine. I met her a few months ago because I noticed she was a friend on my facebook, that she was a photographer and that she lived right down the street from me. We hit it off and she’s sort of become my mentor in a way. That term mentor sounds kind of lame but given all she’s teached me and how happy she is to help me I think that’s the best way to describe her.

There are a lot of things I appreciate about my friendship with her. I think she’s really funny and smart. I think her photography is some of the best I’ve seen in the portrait photography world. She’s always happy to lend some expertise and never talks down to me.

What I like most about her though is how at ease she is with everyone around her. She’s a little older than me so I think it has something to do with age. It seems to me that with age you care less and less about the trivial things. I realized that is something I’ve been trying to acheive for years and letting go of certain friends in my life was an important part of that step.

I told her about some issues I was having with these friends of mine from back in my college days who I can’t seem to get rid of (apparently just ignoring them isn’t enough). They are still in this petty/childish mentality that I want nothing to do with. I told her that they keep including me in these Facebook messages and while I ignore the messages I really want to be left out.

Her thoughts on how to deal with this? Just ignore them.

Like it’s that easy. Just pretend those messages don’t keep showing up on Facebook? Just, you know, delete?

She said “yeah” it was that easy. She also suggested deleting them although I’ve learned that it doesn’t stop you from being included on messages as long as one person in the group is friends with you.

After a few lovely flirtinis that night and the most delicious mussels I came home thinking about how I hoped as I got older that one of the things that came along with age was also the sense to just walk away. I know I’m much better at dealing with these things than I was 10 years ago and I hope in another 10 years I can be in a more zen place and just let things fall as they may.

I can’t even imagine that, I’ve always been an anxious person who worries all the time what others think of her. Is it possible that with age that will go away? I really hope so because it’s honestly not who I want to be anymore, not that it ever worked for me or anything.

So I have hopes that from now on I can just DELETE and walk away from now on. DELETE is such a powerful thing. I just hope I don’t have to paint any fences.

10 Comments

  1. Amanda

    August 9, 2010 at 11:23 am

    I tend to just hide people in facebook if I don’t like what they’re saying

    1. Robin

      August 10, 2010 at 8:38 am

      @Amanda, Me too, it’s a lovely feature.

  2. metalmom

    August 9, 2010 at 11:46 am

    Delete and NEVER check out the messages. Once you open it, it can go for-ev-er! Just delete the people. They will eventually tire of their little bitchy games and go away.

    1. Robin

      August 10, 2010 at 8:38 am

      @metalmom, It’s been like 2-3 years that they keep including me on messages even though I ignore them. I’m pretty certain at this point it’s not that they haven’t gotten the message but that they find it amusing that maybe it irritates me.

  3. Grant

    August 9, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    I think you should track these people down and dump minnows into their heating vents, lock their TV’s on the Weather Channel, pour sand into their mascara, put them on several gay porn and Christian fundamentalist mailing lists, set fire to their cats, fertilize their lawns with lye, drive their cars into the nearest ocean, and shave their eyebrows. I’m 41, btw, so let me know how that meshes with your old = mellow observation.

    1. Robin

      August 10, 2010 at 8:37 am

      @Grant, All good suggestions.

  4. Pauline

    August 9, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    When I was still on FB, I had some people on my “friend” list even though we weren’t really friends. (More acquaintances or people from high school or whatever) Anyways, some of them would say some pretty asinine things fairly regularly, so I just did what Amanda suggested and would “hide” their status updates. I also changed my settings so only certain people could see what I was up to and my personal info.

    Eventually, however, I got tired of this, as well as the constant spam from my friends hacked accounts and invites to Farmville, so I just deleted my account. You might consider that as well. 🙂

    1. Robin

      August 10, 2010 at 8:37 am

      @Pauline, I can’t get rid of FB completely due to my Fan Page (photography) but I have been hiding people for quite a long time now.

  5. jen

    August 11, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    I decided a few months ago to DELETE all of “those” people. they annoy me. If I have to hide you, I might as well delete you.
    but do you mean on your Fan page or personal FB page?

    1. Robin

      August 12, 2010 at 12:28 pm

      @jen, not the Fan page, just my regular FB. I’m seriously considering it.

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