My High Standards


I guess I have high standards for friends, which is why I have very few. I’m ok with that but it also means from time to time friendships end. I hate that, I never get over the loss of a once really close friend. I have 2 really close friends from my past that, at least for now, we aren’t even speaking and I feel sad about this all the time. I can get over the loss of a boyfriend but a true friend is one that is hard to let go of.

You keep thinking about all the great moments you had together and it feels like giving up on your relationship is washing away those moments. I know this isn’t really true but it feels like it, it feels like all those times you laughed and cried together are worth more than whatever is missing right now.

My basic needs in a friendship are as follows:

  • An even playing field – If I feel for a long time that I’m giving way more than I get then things start to break apart and resentment ensues. Granted sometimes I think I try to hard and that’s when I pull back.
  • Needing each other – Really true friends need each other and reach out to each other. When that isn’t there then a lot is missing.
  • Being there – Knowing that your friend will always be right there when you need them and you don’t even have to ask. That they can just tell that at this moment you need someone to make the load a little lighter.
  • Make you laugh – I think that is just a given with any relationship.

I could probably have a much longer list if I really dug in but these were the things that came to my mind immediately. Friendship is so important to me and because it is I think I get let down so much. No matter how close a friend seems there is no guarantee you’ll grow old together.


  1. Alissa

    July 19, 2010 at 10:18 am

    I don’t have a ton of friends. I know that one of my downfalls is that I take everything way too personally, so I get hurt a lot. I am very giving and also respectful, and I feel like a lot of people don’t care about anybody but themselves. I think we’d make awesome buddies. 🙂

    1. Robin

      July 19, 2010 at 10:26 am

      @Alissa: You sound just like me, I think we would too.

  2. Amanda

    July 19, 2010 at 11:05 am

    I’m really anti-social so I have trouble making and maintaining friends. I rarely want to go out to bars and that’s all my friends want to do, so I sit at home while they go out. I need to find people who like to sit around as much as I do.

    1. Robin

      July 19, 2010 at 11:10 am

      @Amanda: I’m so glad I got out of the bars stage, most of my friends have no interest in that anymore.

  3. Pauline

    July 19, 2010 at 11:48 am

    Finding good friends is tough! Alissa is right, in that most people are selfish and don’t seem to want to put as much time into fostering adult relationships, outside of romantic ones. Women, in particular, are guilty of doing this.

    1. Robin

      July 19, 2010 at 5:12 pm

      @Pauline, so very true.

  4. Avitable

    July 29, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    I have high standards for my friends as well.

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