What I am Really Thinking

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What would I do without this little blog here? It’s moments like these that I have thoughts I want to share but I don’t want my photography world to know. There is Robin the Blogger who doubts herself, has little to no confidence and needs the help of her friends to keep her in check. Then there is Robin the Photog who is building a business and clients and learning every step of the way.

I had my first wedding yesterday. I knew it would be hard but I assumed I would just step up to the plate and make it work. Yeah, right before the ceremony I whispered to my brother (who was the wedding videographer) I think I’m in over my head. Guess what? I was.

Did I get a lot of good shots? I would like to believe so.

Did I learn a lot? Holy fuck yeah.

Is wedding photography what I was meant to do? I’m not sure.

I’ll spell it out for you: it is really hard and takes a certain kind of person to do this. If I could go back I would probably have them hire someone else and ask to be the 2nd shooter. That or I should have asked them to pay for a second shooter. I was afraid to bring someone in who is that far above me in talent but now I know it’s what I needed.

I think I got some pretty good shots before the wedding. I got a couple of her getting ready but she was in this tiny kitchen and I had no room to really capture her. I got lots of her getting in the Rolls Royce and lots of her before the wedding.

I hate to admit this, I panicked during the ceremony. The reverend beforehand asked me not to get in front at all or in the isle but it turned out my lens did not zoom enough. So I ran back and forth trying to get everything. I didn’t get her walking down the isle, I barely got the groom watching her down the isle, I did not get them coming up the isle and well, let’s just say all I really got were the vows and the kiss.

Lucky for me, there was a friend of theirs taking pictures as well who had probably a better lens than I had. I got a lot of good shots for the reception, I think, but it was inside a small bar (100 people) so it was extremely tricky. Extremely. Plus, I thought I was better with my external flash than I was but I managed best I could. I noticed this guy got really good shots indoors, I think he had a diffuser, which I need to get STAT.

I’m just glad they didn’t pay me and I’m glad they should in the end get all the pictures they want. I’m also going to be really glad I learned so much. In the end I just really hope she’s happy with the pictures I give her and also that I can still do her wedding in Ireland next year.


  • http://touchedbymadness.net Stacey

    I’m sure she’ll love the pictures you got. Every photo will take her back to a happy moment.

    Hooray for the great learning experience.

  • http://www.mywildlifeswords.com Jennifer

    Way to dive in babe!! She will love them…and 1000′s of pictures never made sense anyway. :)

  • http://www.kaatastrophe.com Alissa

    From what I saw, I think they’ll be just fine. It’s easy to doubt yourself because I think when you’re a photog, you see all the little errors with each picture that the average joe wouldn’t. So it’s easy for us to rip apart our own work.

    I’m so glad that you learned a whole lot with this experience. I don’t know if I’d ever what to shoot a wedding without a 2nd shooter, but I’m a nervous nelly. I know plenty of photogs who go at it alone though and do just fine.

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

      @Alissa: Well I do know for a fact I screwed up something with my camera (that I’ve done several times before) but I’m hoping I can make due with the good shots I did get.

  • http://dreaminginthedark.org B

    Everyone has to start somewhere! I’m sure things went better than what you think. We’re our own worse enemies most of the time.

    Seriously, just from the few I saw, your pictures are better than the one’s my sister paid for from a pro. You didn’t hear that from me ;) lol

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

      @B: They are better but of course I can’t seem to let go of the massive error I made. Thank you B, that is really nice to hear.

  • http://shellis-sentiments.com Shelli

    I would be feeling just like you. I’m sure you were fine. Is the picture above from the wedding? ‘Cuz that’s a really cool shot. Plus, she will have the added emotional attachment to the photos knowing that you took them for her.

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

      @Shelli: Thanks Shelli!

  • http://sometimesalways.net/ Crystal

    Make your own diffuser on the cheap with a sheet of white paper taped around the flash. I improvised for a while with some Scotch tape – a few layers (as long it wasn’t the stuff that’s perfectly clear) was just enough to diffuse things a bit.

    Also, kudos to you for even attempting a wedding. I’ll stick to shooting things that don’t move.

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

      @Crystal: Probably safer to just stay with that, I’ll have to give that diffuser idea a try.

  • http://www.finallyfiguringitout.blogspot.com MB

    I’m sure they will love all of the photos and you’re just being too hard on yourself. I always second guess myself after an event and say things like “I should have done this instead,” “I wish I had them stand this way instead” or “I should have gotten that shot” but in the end the couple will have happy memories of the day and your pictures will prove it.

    • http://lifeisnotamovie.net Robin

      @MB: Yeah, thank you.