The Two Versions of Me

I have a new friend (that sounds weird, like I made a friend in play group or something) who is a local photographer. We hit it off right away. She’s honest, down to earth, sweet, smart and bitchin.

Yes, I said bitchin.

She swears a lot. I love that, swearing is good for the soul. Fuck yeah!

I was on the phone with her the other night talking about lenses (we’re geeky like that) and she apologized again for swearing. I said it was fine because I swear all the time.

She said that she rarely hears me swear in person but I swear all the time online. At that point she pointed out that in person I’m really sweet and not aggressive at all like I am online. It’s funny, I’ve heard that a lot.

It takes a while for me to get to a point of being totally me in person because I’m actually kind of shy and nervous. While still in the beginning stages with most people I worry a lot about what I say, how I look and what they think of me. It’s just part of my anxiety but it goes away eventually if I really feel comfortable with the person.

After I get comfortable with someone I start dropping the f-bombs and burping constantly. You can ask my husband or my SIL or Gwen. I’ve been known to swear at the wrong times and get glares in Target by mothers.

At the same time, at work I have to train myself not to swear so I think that has cut down on my daily @#$@# $%#$ %@#$. I work with women who are at least 30 years older than me, when I swear a part of them dies inside.

But fear not, when you really get to know me and I get comfortable I swear all the time and you may actually miss the days when I was sweet and innocent. Enjoy it while it lasts…you fucking whore.

14 Comments

  1. Avitable

    May 17, 2010 at 9:20 am

    You’re totally quiet and demure in person! And pretty much what I expected. Hearing you swear in person would be weird!

    1. Robin

      May 17, 2010 at 9:24 am

      @Avitable: cock sucker.

  2. Alissa

    May 17, 2010 at 10:26 am

    Oooooh, I feel like I wrote this myself!

    QUICK – what’s your favorite lens?

    1. Robin

      May 17, 2010 at 10:27 am

      @Alissa: well I’m new to lenses so right now my favorite is my 85 but I have only tried like 3 lenses really.

  3. Grant

    May 17, 2010 at 10:39 am

    I think a lot of people are like that – they come across differently in their blog than the do in real life. I don’t think it’s being dishonest, it’s just that different situations call for different behaviors. I wouldn’t be gainfully employed if I came across as psychotic and bunny-obsessed as I do in the bloggysphere.

    1. Robin

      May 18, 2010 at 8:02 am

      @Grant: Yeah probably not.

  4. Jennifer

    May 17, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    After sending every summer with a bunch of guys in the backcountry (sounds kinkier than it was:)….I had a TERRIBLE potty-mouth. Alas, when the cursing was so common that it happened during several presentations…I figured I better clean it up. That, and my boss said “or else”! So, I will live vicariously through you!:)

    1. Robin

      May 18, 2010 at 8:02 am

      @Jennifer: I’ll do my best to keep it rated R.

  5. subWOW

    May 19, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    Same here. Oh the repression. That’s why I don’t care what people say about my blog is a total waste of time, self-indulgence, I see it as the thing that saved my sanity, my life.

    At this age (I know you are much younger than I am, but YKWIM) it’s very difficult to make new friends, perhaps because we have a better idea of who we are and what we like and what kind of shit we have no time to put up with, so we become more selective? Yeah to new friends! Really. It’s a blessing when you are a grown-up and no longer in school.

    1. Robin

      May 19, 2010 at 12:58 pm

      @subWOW: I’ve definitely sifted through many friends and walked away from quite a few. I’d rather be much more selective right now. It is about sanity, that’s about all it is.

  6. Chibi Jeebs

    May 19, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    Fuck is probably my favourite word. Definitely my favourite curse word.

    P.S. Totally right-clicked and saved that image. No idea when/how/where I’ll have the balls to use it: may just look at it and giggle like an 8-year old from time to time… 😉

    1. Robin

      May 20, 2010 at 8:00 am

      @Chibi Jeebs: Oh I find stuff like that all the time at http://fuckhappiness.tumblr.com

  7. Chibi Jeebs

    May 21, 2010 at 12:04 am

    I love you even more now than I did 30 seconds ago, particularly after seeing the current pic. ROFL

    1. Robin

      May 24, 2010 at 1:12 pm

      @Chibi Jeebs: awww i love to hear that.

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