Is This My Life?

Every. Single. Day. I think about how little my life makes any sense right now and how surreal it is. In one sense my photography is taking off in one direction, unexpectedly for that matter. I wanted to take on some portrait clients to get a feel for the field to build a portfolio and see if this was really something I wanted to do. I was excited, to dip my toe into this new world.

Then, suddenly, a good friend of mine asked me if I would do the photography for her wedding in July. Wow. At first I thought about the lack of experience I had and whether this was really something I wanted to take on. I mean, portrait sessions are one thing but weddings are a whole different ball game. Weddings are a LOT of work, a lot of energy and a fucklot of pressure. I decided that I would do it and that I knew I could do it, even if I died in the process.

Before I knew it another friend of mine contacted me and asked me to do her wedding as well. What? You all know I have no wedding photography experience other than being photographed for my own wedding, right? I told my friend I had no wedding experience and laid it all out to her, she still wants me. Is everyone just crazy?

On top of these two weddings I need to do engagement shoots for both of them. The first one is in May and the second one will probably be a week before the wedding since, you know, she actually lives in Germany.

Is this my life? How did this ball start rolling? I swear I was only dipping my toe in the water and before I knew it was was waist deep. If I can, I plan to wear water wings…just so you know.

At the same time the rest of my life is barely holding on but holding on at least. My husband still has no job and financially we get a little more in trouble every month. Some months I pay some bills and other months I pay other bills. I miss the days when we were living paycheck to paycheck. Our debt is at a level it has never been for us, I feel like we’ll never get out of this.

There is a lot good in our lives and a lot that is bleak, it’s a strange place to be in. I’m doing my best to focus on the good and the progress, what else is there to do? One step in front of the other.

11 Comments

  1. Grant

    May 5, 2010 at 9:58 am

    10 days until my birthday.

  2. Jennifer Lynn

    May 5, 2010 at 10:23 am

    You are doing it the only way it can be done….one day at a time. Maybe the “waist-deep” photography will help;)

    1. Robin

      May 5, 2010 at 10:28 am

      @Jennifer Lynn: So true, you just have to jump right in.

  3. Alissa

    May 5, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Holy crap! You’re amazing! I wish my photography life would just start rolling. Weddings are for sure a different ball game. My class instructor suggested shooting on multiple memory cards (like ceremony, portraits, reception) so if you lose one part, you have the rest. Maybe you can find an assistant to take photos will you or haul your gear? I would be absolutely terrified!!!!

    1. Robin

      May 5, 2010 at 10:29 am

      @Alissa: A. I so would love to take classes. B. that is a great idea, I think I will do it.

  4. Maureen

    May 5, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    Makes me want to go listen to Talking Heads’ “Once in a Lifetime”

    “And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
    And you may find yourself in another part of the world
    And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
    And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
    And you may ask yourself-Well…How did I get here ?

    Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
    Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
    Into the blue again/after the money�s gone
    Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

    And you may ask yourself
    How do I work this ?
    And you may ask yourself
    Where is that large automobile ?
    And you may tell yourself
    This is not my beautiful house !
    And you may tell yourself
    This is not my beautiful wife !
    Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down
    Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
    Into the blue again/after the money�s gone
    Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.”

    Let the days go by, let the water take you where it will 🙂

    1. Robin

      May 5, 2010 at 1:24 pm

      @Maureen: Great words.

  5. Gwen

    May 5, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    If I was there I’d give you a hug and then make an inappropriate remark.

  6. Tug

    May 5, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    One step at a time, and maybe a higher power (whatever you may believe in) is stepping in, pushing the photography while hubby’s out of work to help out? Don’t forget to breathe…keep lists, and ROCK.ON. Much luck with it all!

  7. Pauline

    May 6, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Will you be getting paid for these wedding photo shoots? It could certainly help your current financial situation. 🙂

    1. Robin

      May 6, 2010 at 1:49 pm

      @Pauline: Actually the first one no but that is because of the possible free trip to Ireland. The second one, yes. Not a LOT in comparisson to some photographers but a good chunk.

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