Is This My Life?
Every. Single. Day. I think about how little my life makes any sense right now and how surreal it is. In one sense my photography is taking off in one direction, unexpectedly for that matter. I wanted to take on some portrait clients to get a feel for the field to build a portfolio and see if this was really something I wanted to do. I was excited, to dip my toe into this new world.
Then, suddenly, a good friend of mine asked me if I would do the photography for her wedding in July. Wow. At first I thought about the lack of experience I had and whether this was really something I wanted to take on. I mean, portrait sessions are one thing but weddings are a whole different ball game. Weddings are a LOT of work, a lot of energy and a fucklot of pressure. I decided that I would do it and that I knew I could do it, even if I died in the process.
Before I knew it another friend of mine contacted me and asked me to do her wedding as well. What? You all know I have no wedding photography experience other than being photographed for my own wedding, right? I told my friend I had no wedding experience and laid it all out to her, she still wants me. Is everyone just crazy?
On top of these two weddings I need to do engagement shoots for both of them. The first one is in May and the second one will probably be a week before the wedding since, you know, she actually lives in Germany.
Is this my life? How did this ball start rolling? I swear I was only dipping my toe in the water and before I knew it was was waist deep. If I can, I plan to wear water wingsâ€¦just so you know.
At the same time the rest of my life is barely holding on but holding on at least. My husband still has no job and financially we get a little more in trouble every month. Some months I pay some bills and other months I pay other bills. I miss the days when we were living paycheck to paycheck. Our debt is at a level it has never been for us, I feel like weâ€™ll never get out of this.
There is a lot good in our lives and a lot that is bleak, itâ€™s a strange place to be in. Iâ€™m doing my best to focus on the good and the progress, what else is there to do? One step in front of the other.