Truth vs. Lies

It is better to be told a hurtful truth than to be told a comforting lie. In the end, the truth will make its way out and will hurt much more than it ever had to. ~Anonymous

The truth hurts really bad. I know, I’ve had many hurtful truths said to me over the years. It never gets easier. Someone sits you down or writes you an email and you can feel it in your stomach. It’s like the air is sucked out of you and all you can feel is the reality that is laid out before you. It’s like everything else in the world goes black and these words are in neon.

Still, I find the truth, even when it’s almost too painful to hear, so much better than a lie. No matter how much I am hurt by how you really feel what hurts that much more is to realize that I’m not worth taking the time to be honest. Being the person who has to hand over the truth is never easy but it’s what the person deserves. I think we all know that in telling the truth you take the chance in the person not wanting to hear it and resenting you for it, that is not an easy situation to put yourself in.

I crave truth, I never turn any of it away no matter how false or hurtful I think it is. I always take it, think about it and try to process it. I try not to dwell on it but sometimes that’s just inevitable…or maybe that’s just part of my DNA. I don’t think enough people are honest. I’m not nearly as honest as I would like to be but that’s mostly because I don’t think most people have any interest in the truth. Most of the time when I try to be honest it ends up in a fight.

I think what has hurt me the most is finding out the truth has been kept from me for a long period of time and then when it finally leaks out I feel like I was run over by a truck. Like when someone says “we all think” makes you realize that apparently you’ve been discussing what you believe to be a truth about me with others and are now letting me in on this. It’s “truths” like that I can’t help but wonder if they are not even real but just put out there to sting.

I also want to point out that I believe sometimes a white lie is what is best for the situation. I just believe as a society too many of us are afraid of the truth and that it can be a destructive route. For me, it’s important to be able to see the good and bad of both ourselves and the world around us or else we are missing out on so much.

How much do you avoid the truth? If someone sat you down right now and told you how they really felt could you handle it without getting defensive? What kind of life do we have without facing the truth?

13 Comments

  1. Pauline

    April 20, 2010 at 11:16 am

    Deciding when to tell the truth and when to lie can be difficult. But I think it depends on what is being said and the context. Would the truth really hurt someone? Would it serve a purpose? Could it possibly ruin a relationship? Is it urgent that someone know the truth?

    Its good to be honest, but you have to weigh the pros and cons of telling the truth or else you could end up regretting your decision.

    1. Robin

      April 20, 2010 at 11:19 am

      @Pauline: Absolutely, what she said.

  2. Alissa

    April 20, 2010 at 11:47 am

    I despise liars. Once you lose my trust, it’s really hard to gain to back. I just don’t like when people lie. Yeah, truth hurts sometimes, but it’s better to hear it and get it out in the open before it causes more harm than good.

    1. Robin

      April 20, 2010 at 11:49 am

      @Alissa: i lied when I said I love Kevin. I actually really really really love Kevin.

  3. Avitable

    April 20, 2010 at 11:48 am

    I would much rather have the truth. It’s still honesty, so maybe it can be a stepping stone to growth if it hurts that much. A lie is nothing. It’s just empty.

  4. Chibi Jeebs

    April 20, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    I want the truth, always, no matter how hurtful. The times that people have kept the truth from me have been infinitely worse than if they’d just *told* me in the first place. I think a large part of my issue revolves around the fact that – for me – with-holding the truth usually involves a lie, and that is the biggest (my brain just timed out… issue?) for me of all of them. A lie of omission is STILL a lie, period. 99% of the time, I will be far more upset that I’ve been lied to, than what was lied about.

    1. Robin

      April 21, 2010 at 7:50 am

      @Chibi Jeebs: I completely agree. I’m probably weird but the idea of being cheated on isn’t nearly as upsetting to me as the lying that goes along with it.

  5. Tug

    April 20, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    Yep, I’d rather be told the truth as well. I did that with a friend (it needed to be done), and things didn’t end well. I realized though, that I was much happier without the baggage of not being honest with ‘supposedly’ my best friend.

    1. Robin

      April 21, 2010 at 7:52 am

      @Tug: Yeah I’ve had to walk away too many times from people who either I learned over time are full of shit or whenever I try to be honest it turns into a shit storm.

  6. Chibi Jeebs

    April 21, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    That’s actually one of the examples I was thinking of when I was commenting (poorly): the betrayal of the lie would be pretty much equal to the betrayal of the cheating. I think for me, the issue is that the person lying to me thinks I’m so bloody stupid that I’ll *believe* his/her BS (if that makes sense).

    1. Robin

      April 21, 2010 at 2:37 pm

      @Chibi Jeebs: that makes complete sense.

  7. Walter

    April 21, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    Truth is a complicated thing. Oftentimes, we really don’t have the slightest idea of what is the truth and what is a lie. Others may be honest about telling you the “truth,” but most of the time they are only issuing their judgment based on their limited understanding. Lies are not always bad and truth are not always good. We’ve got to the the balance between. 🙂

    1. Robin

      April 22, 2010 at 7:57 am

      @Walter: yes a balance is very important, which is why I mentioned that sometimes lies are important and necessary. My main point was that too many people are in denial and avoiding the reality around them.

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