My Unsexy Hollywood Men List

You may have seen the pathetic list that had the nerve to put Kevin Spacey on it, along with a few others I disagree with (Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Justin Long and Joaquin Pheonix). So I decided I needed to right this by putting my own list.

While I definitely think Gary Busey is NOT sexy I also don’t consider him a “star” anymore so he’s not going to be on my list…in case you were wondering. I’m also not going to take the easy way out and just list creepy Hollywood guys, I am picking guys that some might consider sexy but are in fact not.

10. Tim Robbins – He’s a good actor and all but the guy just creeps me the hell out.

9. John C. Reilly – I have to agree with this one but even more than his looks I generally find him more embarrassing than funny.

8. Mark Wahlberg – I think he’s a horrific actor, horrific, I can’t bare to watch him on screen and I was forced to in order to see The Departed, which he wasn’t nearly as bad in as he was in other stuff but I think someone else could have done a better job.

7. James Woods – The only thing I’ve ever really liked about him is that he’s been on Family Guy a few times.

6. David Caruso – I really can’t even stand to watch him, which is why I’ve never gotten into CSI: Miami.

5. Matthew McConaughey– I’m not a fan of big muscular guys and it’s often a turnoff if they spend the majority of their time working out. Plus, when he talks he kind of sounds like a moron.

4. Nicholas Cage – I’m not a fan of his type of movies and he comes across so full of himself.

3. Mickey Rourke (on other list) – Again, even before he fell out of the spotlight and before he got the plastic surgery he just had this greasy quality to him.

2. Tom Cruise – Must I really explain this one? I never found him appealing, even when he seemed less weird.

1. Mel Gibson – I’ve never found him sexy, he’s always seemed really full of himself and quite honestly I don’t even get why women find him physically attractive. That along with the Jesus movie and all the anti-semite comments, I decided he was decidedly unappealing on every level.

18 Comments

  1. Gwen

    December 3, 2009 at 10:17 am

    I would disagree with you about Tim Robins, but I don’t mind that you don’t like him. More Tim for me.

    1. Robin

      December 3, 2009 at 11:14 am

      @Gwen, And I knew you would, I can’t even exactly explain why he bothers me so much because I kind of want to like him but I just can’t.

  2. submom

    December 3, 2009 at 10:23 am

    Justin Long and Joaquin Phoenix not sexy? WTF? I like how your list mostly includes actors that are “said” to be good-looking yet you find them repelling, or at least, un-sexy. John C Reilly belongs to the “eh, he can sure act” list. For the supposedly sexy men yet NOT, I wholeheartedly agree with David Caruso. Is his face just all surgically pulled taut and bound behind his ears? Mickey Rourke should be on the “so ugly it is almost intriguing” list. As for Tom Cruise, I guess Top Gun was the one that really made him cool and sexy? Well, I have so far managed NOT to see that movie. Same as Ghost. Go me!

    1. Robin

      December 3, 2009 at 11:15 am

      @submom, I know, just because Joaquin has been a little, uhm, off lately doesn’t mean he’s still not incredibly sexy. People are LAME. Reilly was kind of a last one to fill in, I should have put him at the end, he was kind of a filler, shhh.

  3. Grant

    December 3, 2009 at 11:11 am

    How does Seth Rogan rate in your book?

    1. Robin

      December 3, 2009 at 11:17 am

      @Grant, See I have a think for geeky Jewish boys, I can’t help but kinda love them. I generally find his characters annoying but I choose to believe he’s a sweet Jewish boy underneath. Jewish boys to me are like Asian girls to you.

  4. Jennifer Lynn

    December 3, 2009 at 11:52 am

    While I totally agree that Mickey is not sexy….Did you see “The Wrestler”?….If you blogged it and I missed it, shame on me. He is creepy…….but man that movie was sad and depressing down in your gut…..so I ranked it as a good movie.

    1. Robin

      May 5, 2010 at 2:28 pm

      @Jennifer Lynn, I have not seen that movie yet, i have it saved and just haven’t watched it yet.

  5. Barb

    December 3, 2009 at 12:18 pm

    8. I have to say that Marky Mark is very nice to look at. As for his acting abilities, well, look at the types of movies he’s in. Me, I don’t mind the mindless action flick once in a while.

    7. Though I don’t think he’s sexy, I like James Woods because he plays really good greaseball/assholes, as does James Spader who I do find sexy.

    Mickey Rourke was sexy in like, the 80s or 90s but not anymore.

    6. David Caruso — BARF. It seems that after he left NYPD Blue he lost his acting ability. Maybe it’s all in the director? I don’t know, but he just can’t deliver those CSI one-liners like Gary Sinise can.

    5. McConaughey’s sexy if you also like DUMB.

    4. I agree — Cage is full of himself. In real life, too. I read (in one of those guilty pleasure stupid celeb mags I bought while on VACATION) that he’s losing $$$ b/c he has like a car for each day of the week and a bunch of castles. Castles. For realz.

    3. Rourke was sexy back in the day. Like when Bruce Willis was sexy. Now Willis is just an old guy trying to be like his ex-wife and failing miserably.

    2. You know how I feel about Cruise.

    Now, this isn’t to say I disagree about the others, but clearly I feel more strongly about some on the list. LOL

    1. Robin

      May 5, 2010 at 2:29 pm

      @Barb, apparently =)

  6. Barb

    December 3, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Especially since I just realized I wrote about Rourke twice.

  7. duane

    December 3, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Nicholas Cage is one of the most unattractive people on this planet, Hollywood or not. Period.

    1. Robin

      May 5, 2010 at 2:30 pm

      @duane, Total agreement.

  8. Tara

    December 3, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    James Woods plays good greaseballs b/c he is one. He’s a pig, from what I’ve read.

    Last year, Mr. Ebert made the list and I protested. He’s so smart. That to me is sexy. Same goes for Oliver Platt. Cute in a strange weird way and smart as a tack. 🙂

    1. Robin

      May 5, 2010 at 2:31 pm

      @Tara, Smart is incredibly sexy. Smart outweighs a lot of other qualities I think.

  9. Avitable

    December 4, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Nic Cage does a pretty wide variety of movies, I thought.

    1. Robin

      May 5, 2010 at 2:31 pm

      @Avitable, I guess so, I don’t watch most of them I guess.

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