Macho Men


Why are so many men afraid of not being macho? Why are men afraid to listen to certain music or watch certain movies because it might be too feminine? What is it that they are afraid of? Do they think people will make fun of them? Do they think people will think they are gay?

Manly Man is the opposite of this, despite his name, and one of the things I love about him most is his feminine side. He wears bracelets, sometimes he paints his nails and he can prance around with the best of them. What is most important to me is that he is not afraid of being feminine or masculine. He is easily both at any given moment.

He can fix anything in the house and lift just about anything. If I need my car fixed (minor stuff of course), he can do that. He put down our hardwood floor and he’s the one who mow’s the lawn. He’s also a better cook than I am. It’s still unforseen what I bring to the table.

For whatever reason, I don’t know if he was just born this way or if had something to do with the kind of people he surrounded himself with when he was a kid but he doesn’t feel the need to prove his manliness. He just is what he is and makes no apologies. Some men, most men, seem to have something to prove.

I don’t know about you but to me a real man is someone who can just be comfortable with who he is.

What are your thoughts?


  1. Amanda

    November 9, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Mike’s not really worried about being macho, but he’s also really handy in a “manly” sort of way. He was also concerned for the hooters girls because the ballet flats they were wearing with their new school girl outfits couldn’t have been as comfortable as the white sneakers they used to wear

    1. Robin

      November 9, 2009 at 11:11 am

      @Amanda, now that is awesome :heart:

  2. Jennifer Lynn

    November 9, 2009 at 10:56 am

    I have wonder about this many times. Basil can be macho and girly…but he is always comfortable. I think you are right about it having something to do with who they surrounded themselves with as children and teenagers….also, how secure they are in their own skin.

    Here is an interesting one for you….all those men who are homophobic…and worried about “looking feminine”….should think again… may be that looking “Butch” is really the attraction.

    1. Robin

      November 9, 2009 at 11:12 am

      @Jennifer Lynn, yeah that’s what is so funny, you always notice that gay men prefer very masculine men. hehe.

  3. submom

    November 9, 2009 at 11:01 am

    Being the mother of 2 boys, I think about that a lot. One of my boys is, I wouldn’t say feminine, but different. Different from the conventional wisdom of what a boy/man should behave, like, be attracted to. My youngest said once to a neighbor dad’s invitation to go play ball with his kids in the backyard, “I don’t like to play any sports.” Then he stared at the dad. The guy, bless his heart, stammered, “Oh… oh. ok.” Then my son went off to pick dandelions from his front yard. There are many examples like this where at the age of 6, he’s already realized that he is different. This is in the US though. Where I grew up, men have no problem wearing pink, carrying a “purse”, using Hello Kitty stuff. In general being “cute”. So, I am now more curious about WHY IN THE U.S.? A dissertation subject!

    1. Robin

      November 9, 2009 at 11:14 am

      @submom, Another reason why I don’t like the US, it’s sad it has to be that way. If I were to raise a child I’d rather do it in Europe. Your boy sounds just like my husband as a kid. He never fit in, he hated sports (though he was good at it, he just hated it) and it always seemed to annoy his family. It still does, why can’t he just fit in like everyone else? I can tell you that your son is awesome and doesn’t go with the flow, I think that’s great!

  4. Gwen

    November 9, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    Agreed! (I know, you’re shocked.)

  5. Maureen

    November 9, 2009 at 12:50 pm

    It’s the society we live in. I have very strong opinions on this matter and find myself trying to raise my kids to question all gender stereotypes. The stereotypes are so deeply ingrained that I don’t think they can be changed in our generation or even the next. But, we can keep on exposing them as they come up and, hopefully, make things easier for everyone who doesn’t fit in an expected mold.

    Just as women have fought for decades, now, to break the ‘glass ceiling’ in business, to prove that gender does not determine whether a person is capable of doing a job – I think that men (and reasonable women) need to fight to break the odd notion that gender does not determine whether a person is capable of .

    People should be free to be who they want to be (as long as they don’t hurt anyone else & take responsibility for themselves).

  6. Maureen

    November 9, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    And… I *hate* that my husband feels like he’s supposed to somehow know how to do all of the ‘man’ stuff (fix cars, etc) and then thinks less of himself because he doesn’t. I never want my son to feel that way about anything. You know what you know, what you take the time to learn & what you have the aptitude & desire to learn. Nothing happens magically due to your reproductive organs. (Kind of like how all women aren’t natural nurturers just because they have a uterus – some just suck at parenting & that’s all there is to it)

    1. Robin

      November 9, 2009 at 1:31 pm

      @Maureen, i completely agree, it’s not right. hell i can’t cook or do many other things that women are “supposed” to do. my husband and i certainly mix the stereotypes.

  7. Grant

    November 9, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    I think some guys hope it will get them laid, but most have male friends who will tease them.

    1. Robin

      November 9, 2009 at 1:31 pm

      @Grant, being macho or being feminine?

  8. Hannah

    November 9, 2009 at 1:57 pm

    “I don’t know about you but to me a real man is someone who can just be comfortable with who he is.”

    I agree. Nothing is more of a turnoff than an insecure man. Some women are like this too-Afraid to do anything that could be considered “masculin” and are trying way to hard to look and be extremely feminine. Personally, I’d rather just relax and be myself, not some caricature. 🙂

  9. Barb

    November 9, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    I’m just glad that Brian has absolutely no qualms about going out to buy tampons even if that’s all he’s buying from the store, as long as I write down the exact brand and type and color (if necessary); and even if he buys the wrong kind, he goes right back out to get the right one. Just because I need them. :heart:

  10. Barb

    November 9, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    P.S. – I am adding Kibble Kat to my blog.

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