On The Other Side

I’m working on a childfree post but I can’t seem to get the words right so I’ll just complain about our finances for a little bit.

We’re hanging on financially but barely. We’re in crazy debt from all angles. We have almost no credit left, you know, for emergencies. Manly Man is having a very hard time finding a job that will pay enough (and by enough I still don’t even mean very much) so we can keep our house and handle our financial responsibilities.

I often find myself not able to sleep thinking about our near future. Should we just admit defeat now and attempt to sell our house? Is there a way we can cut down on our bills? We never eat out, we rarely even go out. I’m actually contemplating getting rid of our phone and internet. The stupid cable company won’t let us just get rid of the phone. We’re trying to figure out how to pull enough money together to buy some wood for the wood stove this winter so we don’t rely on our electric heat.

I try to remind myself, during these panic inducing thoughts, that somehow we always find a way out to the other side. The other side of what at the time appears to be an impossible situation. In fact, usually we end up in a better place, eventually.

When Manly Man had to start his life over it seemed pretty bleak I can imagine and then he met me. When we constantly had to go to court it felt like it would never end but it did and it made us a team. When he lost his job right after we purchased our house he got an even better job like a month later.

Problem is right now Manly Man has very few options. All he’s ever really done for a living is craftsman work and there is no need for that in this economy. He has no office experience, zero. We keep trying though, when it comes to a craftsman you can’t find better than him. He can build anything out of wood. Working with his hands is what he is most skilled at.

So you know, fuck me if I know what to do. I’m just kind of holding on hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel. It always shows up, eventually…right?


  1. B

    October 29, 2009 at 10:22 am

    I’ve been reading lately about people trading skills/services. Perhaps you guys could look into that. Maybe trade off a skill you guys have (handy work, photography) in order to get something you need like firewood? It’s worth a shot!

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:06 pm

      @B, not a bad idea, thanks.

  2. Grant

    October 29, 2009 at 10:56 am

    I feel for you. Two years ago I was thinking of buying a new car just because I wanted one and I was debating Lexus vs. Mercedes. Now I’m contacting a bankruptcy lawyer and hoping my car will last a little longer so I don’t have to take the bus.

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:07 pm

      @Grant, it’s such a scary time, i don’t ever remember being so afraid of the future.

  3. Jennifer Lynn

    October 29, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Well shit. Hang on girly. Things are going to get better soon.

    We recently hired a local guy who just put a home-made flyer in our mailbox….needed some things fixed. It’s an idea, maybe.

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:07 pm

      @Jennifer Lynn, great idea!

  4. Maureen

    October 29, 2009 at 11:09 am

    It’s all in the attitude, whether you see setbacks as insurmountable & bad -or- as opportunities to try a new approach at life.

    Jim & I applied for apprenticeships with our local plumber’s union a few years ago, thinking “Well, there’s a job that can’t be outsourced & that everyone will need no matter how bad the economy gets”. We made it to the final interview phase, then backed out for personal reasons – we just didn’t want to commit the time to it at that point in our lives as parents. Maybe Erik could look into something like that.

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:12 pm

      @Maureen, I totally agree, that’s an interesting idea, I will run all of this by him.

  5. Hannah

    October 29, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Perhaps he could train and apprentice in another trades profession-ie. Electrician, plumber,labourer, roofer or machinist?

    If he’s good with his hands, there must be more options out there.

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:13 pm

      @Hannah, Yeah maybe, good suggestion.

  6. ed

    October 29, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    i know he probably has thought of this, but what about retail? sure it sucks, and you are under paid, but its always easier to look for another job when you have a job. and its money. might help.

    other than that, i hope he finds something soon!

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:13 pm

      @ed, yeah it’s definitely an option but going that route we still couldn’t afford to live where we do.

  7. Amanda

    October 29, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    I’m sorry, honey. I don’t have any great suggestions, but I’m here if you need to talk. Craig’s list would probably be a good place to start looking for a trading skills thing like B was talking about

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:14 pm

      @Amanda, thank you girl, I appreciate it.

  8. Barb

    October 29, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    I don’t have any ideas to offer that haven’t already been shared, unfortunately, but I know you’ll both get through this. It may not be the outcome you want, but it could also be something better.

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:14 pm

      @Barb, I totally agree.

  9. crystal

    October 29, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    Lemme check with my boss – she’s got a friend who owns a woodworking business that deals with some big money projects, and I know she had asked me once before if Manly Man was still looking and if he would be classified as “skilled or unskilled”, but it was right about the time a few weeks ago when he was twittering about an interview and I totally forgot about it.

    1. Robin

      October 29, 2009 at 7:08 pm

      @crystal, thank you, that is wonderful. Even just having contacts and possible opportunities just helps right now.

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