Has anyone else noticed that all the social media outlets online now it’s that much easier to be passive aggressive at the drop of the hat. Someone pisses you off? You unfriend them on Facebook. Someone starts to annoy you? You unfollow them on twitter. You decide you don’t like someone anymore but dont’ want to come out and say it? Untag all their photos of you.

I’m not innocent in this aspect. I got in a fight with a friend and I changed my Facebook feed so I would not have to see their updates. Part of me only did that so I could let my anger cool off but part of me was like “ha! take that!” It looked to me like this person also untagged a picture of mine, which is you know as cruel as you can get so I went an untagged a picture she had of mine.

I’ve written the status updates that are biting and sarcastic without saying who it is but knowing that the person I am talking about probably knows it is about them. When doing it, it feels a little like giving this person an imaginary electric shock.

To unfriend a person on Facebook is like the preverbial bitchslap but it’s one that isn’t as easy to take back. That is something you really can’t deny and when the fight is over you have to swallow your pride and re-friend them again.

It sounds so childish, so immature. Having Facebook and Twitter has brought out some of the worst in people. The funny thing is these little games make it so we don’t have to actually deal with anyone or address real issues but eventually everything has to be dealt with, right? Or we could just go on with life, secretly despising this person because they unfriended you.


  1. Grant

    September 23, 2009 at 10:36 am

    I’ve always felt the Internet makes it too easy for people to be jerks. I have a rule to not do anything online that I wouldn’t do in real life. It’s not much of a rule since there isn’t much I wouldn’t do in real life, but it’s a rule nonetheless.

    1. Robin

      September 23, 2009 at 12:49 pm

      @Grant, i really try to a. not doing anything until i calm down and b. i try to only do what i would do in real life as well. doesn’t always work out but i try at least, right?

  2. Avitable

    September 23, 2009 at 11:18 am

    I rarely do that, although I unfollow people on Twitter all the time. Why would I want to read their tweets if they annoy me?

    1. Robin

      September 23, 2009 at 12:50 pm

      @Avitable, I don’t really care about unfollowing and unfriending anymore, i have no idea who unfollows me on twitter.

  3. metalmom

    September 23, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    A ‘friend’s’ mom recently died and a mutual friend called to ask if I had heard about it. Since she doesn’t go online, I thought I’d check her page and see if any arrangements had been made. I was unfriended. I didn’t do anything that I can think of, other than skip on a bbq with a bunch of people I don’t know.

    Whatever. A bitchslap for a bitch. I’ll own it.

    1. Robin

      September 23, 2009 at 12:51 pm

      @metalmom, at this point, i rarely notice anymore anyway.

  4. charlane

    September 23, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    :whistle: i’ve been unfriended and never even knew why. LOL but by the same token, i will undo contacts on flickr if i get bored with their shots and we never communicate anyway. or if i’m always commenting them and never ever hear back from them after the first initial contacts.

    this age of social media is bad in some aspects as i’ve seen some of the bad behavior slip over to real life.

    1. Robin

      September 23, 2009 at 12:52 pm

      @charlane, yeah it’s sad but hopefully people will learn from it and handle it better. i don’t really care much about unfriending and stuff, i think i just am involved in so many things online i rarely notice anymore when someone ditches me.

  5. Manly Man

    September 23, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    Great insight! Yeah, unfortunately this is the way things will remain online… give someone an easy way out and they will always take it…

  6. dontwannahearit.com

    September 23, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    […] bloggers have written about this. They have mentioned the sting of the so-called ‘bitch slap‘. It was now my […]

  7. Barb

    September 23, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    Are people notified on FB when you unfriend them? Whatever. I “clean house” periodically if someone doesn’t maintain any contact whatsoever — and I don’t mean by inviting me to this quiz or participate in that app. I also feel I’ve been “anonymously” targeted on Twitter by a specific person and I’m thinking, well if I annoy you, frickin’ unfollow me! What I actually do is reply or send a new tweet with some snarky comment. I wonder if that makes me bad. :devil:

    1. Robin

      September 24, 2009 at 10:46 am

      @Barb, you CAN be notified but it’s some separate application. I had signed up to have notifications but stopped getting them. stupid 3rd party shit. funny thing is i don’t give a shit either way, i just don’t notice, i just notice that everyone cares.

  8. Crystal

    September 24, 2009 at 8:44 am

    This has been the dilemma online for something like 10 years now when Livejournal showed up with its “friends page”. Take someone off your “friends list” and suddenly there’s drama llamas everywhere crying “but I thought we were friends!”


    I might enjoy what a person has to say on LJ, or Twitter, or Facebook, but I may not consider them to be a friend. When they no longer have anything that I like to read, I de-friend them. It’s really quite simple for someone who doesn’t take this shit seriously to do. Some people take things waaaaaay too seriously though.

    1. Robin

      September 24, 2009 at 10:50 am

      @Crystal, that’s how i do it too. if i am not enjoying someones updates wherever it is, i just dump em, whatever. i really don’t care who does it to me but then i don’t even notice.

  9. submom

    September 24, 2009 at 10:36 am

    Well said! Exactly how I feel. But some people do deserve to be unfollowed, and I only wish that they’d got a notice with the explanation of WHICH tweet that caused them to be unfollowed. Of course, I am self-aware enough to ask myself this question at the same time, “Why do you think they’d even care?” On the other hand, I don’t care that they don’t care. And so on. Btw, I love Cottingham’s cartoons. This one is a particularly great commentary on the whole social media craze.

    1. Robin

      September 24, 2009 at 10:55 am

      @submom, the whole phenomenon is just so funny.

  10. Barb

    September 25, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    This makes me think of blogrolls.

  11. kapgar

    September 26, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I can’t say I’ve used social media as punishment for this sort of aggression. But I did get in a verbal battle with a blog buddy a couple years ago and we just canceled out our subscriptions to each other’s RSS feeds. But I can see it being a bitchslap all the same.

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