The other day I received an email that was completely unexpected. It was an apology. The incident that the apology was regarding was something I’d totally forgotten about and left behind me. It all went down during a chaotic time in my life where it was just one of the layers that was pushing me to my breaking limit.

I shared something personal with another person who used it against me only to hurt me. There are not many circumstances in life that I think it’s a one way street thing but this was just that. The only thing I did that I regret is send a very personal email to one too many people. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve no matter my lack of trust in everyone around me.

The email I sent out to this person was sent by this person to two other people (I do not know who but I can guess) who took the information and ran with it. Things were said in comments on blogs airing my private information and then a blog was made just to make a spectacle of myself and a few others. Were they trying to share the truth? I think they like to believe so but I believe they were just being spiteful, for whatever reason.

I’m not as tough as I pretend to be most of the time, it’s a layer I’ve built up since I was a teenager but it’s thin. I’m sensitive to the core, it’s easy to break me. After years of losing faith in people around me I have very little faith left. I was hurt very badly just for the sake of hurting me, which is something that sticks with you long after you forgot it.

Obviously, I’m an easy target and I always have been but if I am such an easy target doesn’t it make it that much more mean spirited to use me as a punching bag? It’s like beating up the scrawny little kid who can’t fight back.

But I am so thankful for the apology and it really did heal a little piece of my soul. Would I love it if the people who made the site about how horrible, fat and ugly I was apologized? Yeah but I’m not going to expect anything. I know it took a lot for the person to put aside their pride and admit to what they did.

I believe it’s never too late for an apology because every “I’m sorry” heals at least something inside the other person, maybe it doesn’t heal everything and maybe nothing they can feel or understand but something. Just knowing someone truly regrets the pain they might have caused you is a necessary part of moving on for everyone involved.

  • http://darnedtoheck.blogspot.com/ Grant

    If that sort of thing makes you happy, then I’m truly sorry about something.

  • http://www.brightestblue.wordpress.com Hannah

    What happened to you was awful! Everyone involved should have apologized, but its good that at least one of the people did.

    I’m very sensitive as well and after being hurt a few times by other people, have started to become bitter and cynical. But I’m trying to remember that not everyone is bad and its best to make sure someone has good intentions before opening yourself up to them. :)

  • http://seeseesome.wordpress.com charlene

    robin~thanks for the kind words~~and mom needs your thoughts right now~~and the doctor saw my legs and feet and is seeing me this afternoon~~shit i guess they can just pull me a bed in mom’s room!

    i am blocked from twitter and facebook~~mom still having problems and will be here until a certain test is 2.00~~right now she is at 1.28, it was 1.18 sunday and 1.11 saturday
    and one of the injection spots where she receives the drug to raise the above rates{in her stomach} is infected
    and fuck i know he is going to have a cow and a horse when he sees how really swollen my feet, ankles, legs and yes even my ass
    but i didn’t get any swollen boobies!! ROFLMTO

    thanks robin~i would appreciate it if you would twit to bubble wench for me

  • http://dailyfarrell.blogspot.com Maureen

    Not only does the apology help the person who was hurt to heal – it also helps the apologizer to grow & heal, too. Feeling guilt about doing something that you know was wrong can really mess with your life, too. I’m glad the person apologized – for your sake and for their sake, too.

  • http://www.bluepaintred.com bluepaintred

    right on. i agree that it is never too late to say I’m sorry. I also think that the farther one gets from the situation, the more time passes, the harder it is to say those words, so kudos for the person who said it, and right on to YOU for accepting it!

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