New Friendship Agreement

Gwen and I had a bit of a discussion about how she and I have gotten really picky about who we want to be friends with. Personally, when I was younger it seemed normal to have friends that pissed me off daily or who treated me like shit, now it just doesn’t seem worth it.

So I decided I will write up this agreement for all current or new friends. I figure this might weed out the bad ones. I might just end up with no friends but I’m relatively ok with that, I tend to like cats better than people anyway.

I [the undersigned] agree to the following terms in regards to my friendship with Robin. I understand that if I violate any of these terms I may be subject to criticism, swearing and eventually disgarded. If I ever feel that I can not abide by these terms I shall forfeit my friendship therein.

I agree not to push Robin’s buttons (ie. piss her off) when she’s already in a mood that might in turn cause her to stab me. I agree not to guilt her into anything that she obviously doesn’t want to do unless I’m prepared to for a shit fit.

I agree to not expect anything more from her than I am willing to offer unless it is sarcasm since Robin always has more than enough sarcasm to give out freely with no obligations.

I agree to be straightforward with Robin whenever possible and to nevever beat around the bush or play head games. I understand that head games may result in being bitchslapped or shunned.

I agree to avoid bullshit in regards to Robin as I may be called out on said bullshit and get a lot more bullshit in return. I understand that it is best to just stay bullshit free in general.

I agree to never take Kevin’s name in vain, ever, not just in her presence but ever. She can hear when you say crap about Kevin even miles away, so just don’t.

I agree to not be annoying and that Robin will explain what these terms are when needed.

I agree to these terms being update and/or changed entirely in a moment’s notice and to adher to these changes immedietly if not sooner.


Sign and date


  1. bluepaintred

    May 12, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Kevin shmevin!

    *ducks and runs*

  2. Hannah

    May 12, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    I think I should get one of these agreements myself. It will be very simple:

    I will be honest and respectful towards Hannah as well as love and accept her for the crazy, moody chick she is! Oh and I won’t complain about the cat/dog fur that accumulates on my clothing when I go and visit her house. 🙂

  3. Tug

    May 12, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Amazing how few people have common sense and these contracts are necessary any more, right?

    Tug. 05.12.2009


  4. Gwen

    May 12, 2009 at 2:16 pm

    I’m totally signing this, and not only because I got mentioned (which made me giddy).


  5. ed

    May 12, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    date: 05.12.2009


  6. Avitable

    May 12, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Spaceydammit, I won’t sign it!

  7. Gemini

    May 13, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Um I guess I will sign it…

    And I promise I will try to do all of the above… 😀

    Just don’t beat me if I get something wrong… ok…

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