New Friendship Agreement
Gwen and I had a bit of a discussion about how she and I have gotten really picky about who we want to be friends with. Personally, when I was younger it seemed normal to have friends that pissed me off daily or who treated me like shit, now it just doesn’t seem worth it.
So I decided I will write up this agreement for all current or new friends. I figure this might weed out the bad ones. I might just end up with no friends but I’m relatively ok with that, I tend to like cats better than people anyway.
I [the undersigned] agree to the following terms in regards to my friendship with Robin. I understand that if I violate any of these terms I may be subject to criticism, swearing and eventually disgarded. If I ever feel that I can not abide by these terms I shall forfeit my friendship therein.
I agree not to push Robin’s buttons (ie. piss her off) when she’s already in a mood that might in turn cause her to stab me. I agree not to guilt her into anything that she obviously doesn’t want to do unless I’m prepared to for a shit fit.
I agree to not expect anything more from her than I am willing to offer unless it is sarcasm since Robin always has more than enough sarcasm to give out freely with no obligations.
I agree to be straightforward with Robin whenever possible and to nevever beat around the bush or play head games. I understand that head games may result in being bitchslapped or shunned.
I agree to avoid bullshit in regards to Robin as I may be called out on said bullshit and get a lot more bullshit in return. I understand that it is best to just stay bullshit free in general.
I agree to never take Kevin’s name in vain, ever, not just in her presence but ever. She can hear when you say crap about Kevin even miles away, so just don’t.
I agree to not be annoying and that Robin will explain what these terms are when needed.
I agree to these terms being update and/or changed entirely in a moment’s notice and to adher to these changes immedietly if not sooner.
Sign and date