Dating a Divorcing Man Tutorial
I would say I wish I had known what I was getting into before I met Manly Man but then if I had known better I may have run away screaming. Still, I think it’s good that women know what they are getting themselves into before making the leap.
- An average non-contested divorce can be pretty quick. A contested divorce can take months if not years. A contested divorce with a custody battle on top of that, it will be a long ride. I honestly thought it would be about six months, I was off by 2 1/2 years.
- Don’t get involved and stay quiet, if you are online do not mention anything online. If you need support go to friends or find a support group. You will have opinions, lots of them, but this is not your battle it’s his.
- Expect that anything can happen and it probably will.
- Trust him. If you can’t trust him then the relationship won’t ever work anyway.
- You and your boyfriend should be a team, if you feel like you are on opposite sides it won’t work.
- Stay informed, ask questions and do research. Make sure you know where things stand. This may not be your fight but it will become a big part of your life whether you like it or not.
- Get off the subject, the divorce can easily take over your lives, don’t let it. Make sure to laugh and love and spend as much time as possible in your relationship otherwise it will consume it.
- Get therapy for you and/or your relationship if necessary, sometimes you just need help to deal with everything.
- Learn to accept that in some ways he will always be tied to his ex, especially if they have a child together but there should also be boundaries, make sure you both discuss what these should be and stick with them.
- Protect yourself because in a situation like this, nobody is going to keep your best interests in check like you will.
I’ve had people say to me a lot I don’t know how you did it I could never have done it and if I were looking in from the outside I would say the same thing. Hell, looking back I don’t know how I ever made it through. I don’t remember quite how I got through it on a day to day basis but I guess he was always worth whatever we were going through. I think for us just about everything went wrong that could possibly go wrong but it also brought us closer in the end.
In April he’ll have officially been divorced 4 years, it’s hard to believe since during it I never thought it would end.
If anyone who has been through this has others to add please speak up, I know this isn’t quite the humor I like to go with most days but it’s something I felt I needed to post.