Please Explain This Hell and Church Thing To Me

hellMy co-worker was talking the other day about how her daughter doesn’t want a wedding and would rather elope. My co-worker is devestated by this partly because she’ll miss the wedding but mostly because her daughter will not be married in a church. I actually had some balls for once and asked if she felt this meant her daughter was going to hell. She said yes.

At least now I know I can do whatever I want for the rest of my life, if I’m already going to hell because I was not married by in a church. Then again I was told when I was a teenager that because I didn’t believe Jesus was the messiah I was going to hell.

I think I’ve racked up enough points (including the living in sin as well) that I’ll get a pretty good seat down under which is good to know. Don’t worry, I can save you a seat. I know quite a few cool people I plan to see there, now that will be a party.

Anyway, what I really want to know is how this breaks down. Does getting married in a church make the whole living in sin null/void? Do you only need to get married in a church and all those other random Sundays aren’t necessary?

I’m pretty sure my co-worker doesn’t go to church unless there is a wedding or a funeral. Manly Man calls this kind of religion Cafeteria Catholics.

I learned some stuff about the whole Jesus/church/hell/sin thing over the years but I was never in the inner circle, can anyone shed some light?

  1. Hannah

    February 17, 2009 at 8:33 am

    I thought “God was everywhere?”-Church or no church. Some people want everyone to follow their own rigidly constructed ideas, and if they show any individual thought, its “Oh! Too bad, you’re going to hell!”

    So sad.

  2. crystal

    February 17, 2009 at 9:09 am

    Sorry I can’t shed any light on what the criteria is for getting into hell. I assume you can reserve a spot there by just thinking for yourself in life :devil:

    It’s another one of those hypocritical aspects of a lot of believers that are why I’m not Christian anymore – there’s too much hypocrisy in the church for me to tolerate being a part of it. For being as all-encompassing as god supposedly is, I think it would be stupid for him to demand you be married in a specific spot to go to heaven. Since I didn’t get married in a church or even by a minister, does that mean I’m going to hell, even though I don’t believe in it?

  3. Nobodyâ„¢

    February 17, 2009 at 9:12 am

    Save me a seat in hell next to you! :devil:
    I was married in a church, but NOT by my choice. I tried everything I could to talk the Mrs into a wedding somewhere else, or eloping to Vegas. She wouldn’t budge.

    Besides, there was that whole hitch hiker incident in Kansas, but I really can’t go into the details of that until the statute of limitations expires.

  4. Amanda

    February 17, 2009 at 10:30 am

    I think (and I could be wrong) that going to hell for not getting married in the church is only Catholicism.

    And no, living in sin is a separate sin to repent for, but I think your basic confession takes care of that one.

    Um, I go to Mass as often as that lady and I’m not Catholic.

  5. Heather B

    February 17, 2009 at 11:15 am

    I guess I would be sitting right there next to you, if u save me a seat. Because according to many, I’m living in sin right now…

  6. DutchBitch

    February 17, 2009 at 11:30 am

    Officially I am catholic but ya know… nah… It doesn’t do anything for me. So can’t help ya there…

    We’ll all go to hell together then, huh?

  7. Maureen

    February 17, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    I don’t worry too much about what other people believe is going to happen to me and to them after we die. It’s all speculative, anyway.

    Reminds me of the Simpsons Protestant vs. Catholic Heaven thing –

    I’m pretty sure that, if there is a God, he(?)’s more concerned with how we are treating each other and the world we’re in, than in which set of rules we choose to follow. If I’m wrong, I guess I’ll at least know that I did what I thought was good & that I enjoyed my life.

  8. Gwen

    February 17, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Robin, don’t worry. I’ve made all the arrangements already. You’ve got a lovely spot waiting for you. complete with a view of the pit. Of course the eternal torment is all complimentary and there’s no need to tip the staff. Your screams of agony, wailing and gnashing your teeth is all the thanks they need for a job well done.
    I’ve told everyone all about you and they simply can’t wait to to meet you.

  9. Grey Street Girl

    February 17, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    Well, I’m the wrong person to ask since I eloped not once, but TWICE. I’m going to hell for sure! :devil:

    To be blunt, I think that kind of thinking is nonsense.

  10. themuttprincess

    February 17, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    I personally do not think the bible says anything about being married in a church qualifies you for heaven. OR the opposite meaning if you aren’t you automatically go to hell. Strange. You know, perhaps it is just a rumor.

  11. Tara

    February 17, 2009 at 7:18 pm

    Insane people, uh, I mean, literalists believe the Bible is true. Sarah Palin, for instance. That means dinosaurs and humans lived on the earth at the same time. Mmm hmm. Those crazy, er, interesting people think Heaven and Hell are real places.

    Sane, I mean, figurative people, who believe Moses was just really old, considering most people only lived til their 30s and that he wasn’t really 900, believe heaven and hell are states of being. Heaven is being kind and content with simple things, not being jealous, etc. Hell is being mean and evil, dwelling in lonliness and desperation, oh, and being so sure you’re right about everything that you tell people they’ll go to hell if you don’t follow stupid religion rules CREATED BY MEN, and stuffs like that.

    Does that help? 🙂

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