Read My Lips

nobaby.gif

Is there anything you feel you say over and over again but are still constantly asked? Do you ever think that maybe you’d be better off if you wore a shirt that gave out enough information about you so people would stop asking?

Ever since I got married I can’t believe how many people have asked if I was pregnant. If I say I feel tired or sick to my stomach then I must be pregnant. If I have some news to share obviously it’s the jaw dropping news I am knocked up.

Is it just me or is it kind of rude to ask that? If I were pregnant wouldn’t this information be personal and wouldn’t I want to release said information when the time was right?

I swear, I want to make a shirt that says: No, I am not pregnant and will not be pregnant anytime soon (if ever). If I ever am you will be the first one I tell. I have an IUD you idiot!

What do people always ask you over and over again?

[tags]childfree, pet peeve[/tags]


  • http://amandainreallife.blogspot.com Amanda

    People are rude. I get it about marriage all the time. I’m happily unmarried, but what if I weren’t? What if I really wanted to get married but Mike wouldn’t? It would feel like they were just rubbing it in.

    Or if you couldn’t get pregnant, wouldn’t the questioning make you feel terrible?

  • http://amandainreallife.blogspot.com Amanda

    oh also both my mom and mike’s mom (among others) have asked when we’re having kids. I’m 24… not for a long time. My mom didn’t even start until she was 28

  • Gemini

    I hear ya! It is crazy… I used to get it all of the time… :hug: I think that until you make your choice either way people will continue to ask or make reference to it. The whole “That is what you do when you get married” doesn’t always apply but people still think it does.

    Amanda I told my mom once when I was angry at a few of my family members for asking (I am talking about my immediate family members)That it ticks me off that they would ask me that because what if I couldn’t have children… She was shocked and said wow you are right… Maybe they shouldn’t be asking….

    My BIL (not Manly man) asked my Husband once when we were going to push out a couple of babies and he said the same thing… what if we can’t have them… You know what he said!!! He said that we should get to the doctor quick because I wasn’t getting any younger!

    I was shocked and I am so glad that I didn’t hear him say that cause I would have slapped him. LOL

    Now that we have made the announcement that we will never “Have” children and if we do it will be through adoption all inquiries have stopped. With the exception of distant relatives or friends we haven’t talked to in a long time.

  • http://www.heathersblog.com Heather B

    My sister in law went to a family party where her aunt came up to her saw that she had a belly and said “ohh kerri, you must be with child” and she replied back with.. “no (not sure of her name) i’m just fat.”

    Its a lil different from what your referring to but I immediately thought of it while reading this. I think what it is, is that people expect newly wedded couples to get pregnant right away..

  • http://www.avitable.com Avitable

    You seem very cranky about this. Are you pregnant? :avi:

  • http://dreaminginthedark.org B

    I’m always repeating myself at work. If it’s not about what paper to ues, it’s about how to fill out a form. Even after I send out email reminders or information, I still get asked.

  • DeniseTN

    Ugh. I hate those questions! I keep getting the “So when’s the wedding?” question. Can’t we enjoy our engagement for a little while before having to jump to the next level?!

    I have 3 kids (4 if you count his kiddo) and I still get the “OMG Are you pregnant?” question any time I dare say that I don’t feel well or complain of being tired.

    People, please remove your heads from your rectums. Thank you. :banghead:

  • edmcbride

    so… you’re not pregnant?

    lol

    i kid, i kid!

  • http://naivemelody.blogsome.com Maureen

    I was going to say what Avitable said… Glad he said it first, though.

    I’ve been thinking about this post on & off all day, trying to put my thoughts into words. I don’t know if I can, though, because I just don’t see talking about pregnancy or potential pregnancy as such a taboo or private thing as you do.

    It’s just conversation – without which we would never understand each other or get to know each other any better.

    I’m sure that 99% of the time the people joking with you about it, or even asking you about it have no ill intentions or judgment intended at all. They’re just trying to connect with you. No more than if they asked you if you had any pets, wanted to travel to Europe, liked ice cream, ever kissed a girl, maybe had a hangover, liked to cook, etc. Any of these might hurt someone’s feelings or be offensive to them, if you asked the wrong person – but, most of the time, it’s just talking.

    I know this is a sensitive topic for *you*, though. It’s just that nobody knows this unless you tell them. If they continue joking about it after you tell them, then I can see that as being insensitive if they do it on purpose (or thoughtless or careless, if they forget how you felt & do it again accidentally).

    But, personally, I can’t ever remember being offended by someone joking about pregnancy, even when I was unmarried or just married & not a parent yet.

    Maybe I should have been. Maybe I’m just naive & didn’t see the ill intent or judgment behind it.

  • http://www.saidshe.net crystal

    Unfortunately, get used to it. I still get asked, even though I’ve made it abundently clear to the majority of my family that I’m not breeding.

    I’m not so annoyed about the asking – I tend to see it the way that Maureen sees it, as conversation in an effort to connect. What I do get annoyed with is when people argue with me about the decision, as though it’s different than any other major decision. To me, the decision to have children should be the one that gets scrutinized, as it has more impact on people (especially considering how many people out there are completely ill-equipped to care for themselves, let alone a child).

  • http://www.taralynnjohnson.com/news.html Tara

    My ex’s sister used to do this all the time. I got so sick of it, in front of everyone, I said, “You have ovaries and a uterus. USE THEM.” She stopped after that. She really wanted kids and to get married and was jealous of those who had the “fairytale” she wanted. Crazy beyotch.

  • http://dontwannahearit.com metalmom

    Are you pregnant? A: Has your herpes cleared up?
    Are you pregnant? B: Why? Do you want to buy one?
    Are you pregnant? C: That man/woman I saw you with wasn’t your husband/wife.

    If you need any more help, let me know. :devil:

  • http://brightestblue.wordpress.com/ Hannah

    As a childfree, married woman I can totally relate! One weirdo even asked us at our WEDDING if I was pregnant yet! Cripes! I also want to know why women only throw big celebrations like ‘bridal/baby showers’ and not parties for achievements in your’career/travelling/finishing half of the items on your ‘things-to-do-before-I-die list’?

    Why does everything have to revolve around getting hitched and knocked up? :confused:

  • http://andastheworldturns.blogspot.com Turnbaby

    I came by cause I heard you were bitching about being pregnant :D :D

  • http://two-fifteen.net/journal H.

    I, personally, get offended when people ask me. Usually the only people who as me are friends or coworkers and it pisses me off. Mainly because I’m very very very very touchy about my weight so in my mind, if they’re asking me if I’m pregnant, they must think I’ve gained weight. But also because anyone who knows me knows that I DO NOT want another child. I love the one I have. He was planned. I wanted him. But I don’t want another. And I don’t like babies. Or toddlers.

  • http://two-fifteen.net/journal H.

    Hehe. I encourage it.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Amanda – I just can’t believe the nerve people have. I would never ask anyone anything like that, unless if I were have a deep discussion with a close friend but I wouldn’t ask an aquaintence.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Gemini – The funny thing is I’m very open with everyone that I’m childfree (at least at the present time) and I mean everyone. I swear, it’s almost on my resume. I’d get a tattoo of it if I were 100% sure. Still, people bring it up I think either because they still “hope” or because it’s SO funny to see my face twist like it does when they say it. I didn’t mention however that usually when people ask this it’s more like “you aren’t pregnant are you?!?!” with a horrified look on their face.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Heather – I think if that if anyone thought I was pregnant by looking at me I’d cry right on the spot, seriously. Then I’d make someone go beat them up.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    :whack:

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    B – Same here, I’m pretty sure my emails are never even read but just deleted.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Denise – Maybe I’ll start thinking of more creative answers to the question that will either embarrass or horrify them :evil:

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    :tongue:

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Oops, I responded I realized that it was a longer response. It’s not that I hate people for saying it, I know they don’t mean ill will, it’s just an annoyance. It’s a particular annoyance when people who know very well I have an IUD that there is pretty much no chance I’m getting knocked up. I think I get it mostly at work by my co-workers who are a lot older than me and I know they are hoping I’ll change my mind.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Crystal – well said, very well said :clap:

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Tara – good answer. I never seem to have good answers on the spot, only long after the moment is gone.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Metalmom – Are you pregnant? Answer: No but I’m willing to give it a try with you/your husband.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    Hannah – I totally agree. Maybe we should start a new trend, throwing parties just because someone is awesome.

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    :rolleyes: :gemini:

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    H – Can I tell you your boobs look good though? :robin:

  • http://www.roadlessunraveled.com Robin

    H – :lmfao: ok well then….work it! :robin: