As you, and many others, are aware the four of you are some of my favorite men in the world but it seems to me either you have been preocuppied lately or just off the radar. This makes me sad, I’d very much like to see all of you much much more.
Scott: I get the sense you really enjoy being off the radar, maybe you do it on purpose or maybe it had something to do with your divorce years ago. I know you are on The Unit but I simply cannot watch that show, I just can’t. While you are oodles of cuteness on it, the plot bores me to tears. Please do a romantic comedy or something, I still keep Noel in my heart.
Ewan: I realize you’ve had some movies come out in the last few years but I must admit I haven’t even seen them yet since none of them had you singing, dancing or naked, that I’m aware of. Please please, sing again or just take your clothes off.
Jake: I know you’ve found love with Reese but you know I’ve been around a lot longer than she has. I’ve been around since October Sky, therefore I think I deserve your attention first. Please make another indie film where you are a dark/quirky guy or just have a sex scene. I think that’s the least that I deserve.
Edward: Where in the hell have you been mister? I was refering to you as the next Kevin Spacey years ago but I’m not sure I can think of a really good film you’ve made since Fight Club. You are obviously one of the best actors of your generation out there, so get to work and show me what you’re made of. I don’t even want to get into it with you about the Hulk movie. I really expected more of you.
Your Biggest Fan (and minor stalker)