Well hello there, fellow RLU readers, ro here. I was so honored to be guest posting that all week I was in a tizzy on what to write. At first I thought I would draw eerie comparisons to Robin and I: her name has r and b, my name has r and b; she has “les girls, I has les girls; she has cats, I have cat; she’s into photography, I’m into photography…but then I thought, like her readers really wanna hear about that.
So, then I thought I would write about the country’s current state of affairs, but ew, no.
I read some of my feeds for inspiration, but the only thing remotely interesting was on how Americans seem to be warming to the idea of owning bidets. If you don’t know what that is, I suggest you look it up on wikipedia.
Naturally, the next topic on the list of things to write about was? Dating. Oh I know, like that isn’t a tiresome old country song. Well, I thought, why not give it a twist and instead of writing about my own sad situation, why not write about my friend D. and his quest in finding a husband? And then what, come to the conclusion, that it’s just as hard (if not harder) for a boy, who’s really ready to commit, to find his own husband? One to whom he can leave honey-do lists when he goes off to work? Nah, too obvious, in a post-modern-love-your-LGBTQ-friends, to even delve in.
Of course, there’s always my unending love for Jon Stewart, which goes beyond Robin’s love for Kevin. Beyond. Further than Barack Obama’s brisket. But I think I may not be the only one who loves him and that I may be preaching to the choir, so…there’s only one topic left to cover: soft cushion toilet seats.
Oh laugh if you will, but if you’re like me, and enjoy the long, do the crossword puzzle, surf the ‘net, play some games, reply to some work emails (that’s always fun), chat with (oblivious) friends, read your feeds, on the royal throne (as I like to call it), then soft toilet covers are for you. Once you place your tushy on that soft, pliant material you will never go back. They come in a variety of colors and shapes (oval, round, oblong); I’ve also discovered, that your body heat, somehow, transfers to the seat and low and behold, you have your own, butt warmer incorporated! A feature, I might add, only available on those expensive Japanese toilets. Yessiree, soft cushion toilet covers will never ever make your tushy want to place itself on the hard, most often cold, seat. And hey, once you’re sitting there, you might even find yourself singing:
“Hey, mon frÃ¨re,
if your derriere could use a little cush,
no need to pout, the word is out.
It’s Jack’s Subway Tush!“