Twitters of the week, I am so witty it scares me.
Monday: I’m falling asleep at the wheel.
Tuesday: “Get your fucking hand out of my fucking Hula Hoops, fuck face.”
Wednesday: If I poke my eye out prying this thing off with a letter opener you can pay for my medical bills.
Thursday: Is this really Palin or is it Tina Fey? Is this the beginning of SNL?
Friday: Oh no! There is a baby in the building! Everyone run!!!