If you came to my house…

You would see: a dead mouse or something probably, because Pilot is a serial killer.

I’d probably feed you: beer, that’s usually all we really have to offer. Right now we have some Girl Scout cookies if you want some of them. I do have lube and this tasty cream stuff, I’ll show you what I mean when you get here.

And offer you to drink: beer but I already told you that, beer is not just a drink here, it’s a way of life.

I’d undoubtedly ask if you’d read: the bible and if you have, I’ll suggest you forget all of that while at my house because it won’t do you any good here.

I’d want to play you the music: from the Foo Fighters until you are completely brainwashed. Once I’ve done that I’ll move onto Weezer, Keane and Jimmy Eat World until you are putty in my hands.

I’d want to tell you about: my scheme to kidnap Kevin Spacey, Gwen is involved in this scheme of course, she has all the tools.

I’d probably suggest a game of: a gam of Tic Tak Toe. I’ll be the Tak, one of you can be the Tic and the Toe. Wait, what is that game again and does it involve blindfolds?

I would definitely show off: my muffins. I mean if I have a guest over I should make some kind of muffins, maybe banana nut or raspberry, whatever floats your boat. Wait, what did you think I meant? :eyebrow:

I might get on the computer and show you: How I ignore my husband on a daily basis and have him do all the chores for me, it’s something you could learn in time as my guest.

If it was a long enough visit: we might come up with nicknames for each other and make up our own secret handshake.

I would share: my emense knowledge on movies and which ones are ok to like and which ones are not. You will be tested afterwards.

So, when are you stopping by?