Happy Third Blogaversary
I’ve been blogging for 3 years (or nearly, it will actually be on the day of my wedding), and have had very few days where I don’t post anything. My writing and style has definitely changed over the years. I don’t know if I didn’t have any comments back then because nobody was reading it or because that was when I was on blogger and maybe the comments didn’t switch over :dunno: Looking back though my blog was pretty boring.
Anyway, I found this one post from the very beginning and I realized if there is anything I’ve ever posted that I should adhear to it’s this one.
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. Especially involving the twins :robin:
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. Unless they are really good in bed, then talking isn’t really necessary.
THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. Unless you hear someone having sex, you’re at Old Navy or Target or you don’t have a job so you have nowhere you have to go.
FOUR. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. Unless the other person is really really hot and it’s the only way to get them into bed.
FIVE. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. Make sure not to accidentally or on purpose spit at them, it will make the apology null and void.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. Unless you are pregnant.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. Unless you are really drunk then you might want to take a second look when you are sober.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much. Unless the dream was about having a threesome with Barbara Walters and Paulie Shore, if so then laugh excessively.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely. Unless you have a lot of money, then you don’t need love.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. Except for calling someone an asshat, that is always acceptable.
ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives. Unless you are related to Dubya.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. Unless you are on speed.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?” Or you could just tell them to fuck a goat.
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. Unless you don’t care about any of that, then just sit on your sofa and watch American Idol.
FIFTEEN. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze. Or pretend to sneeze everytime they do, that’s funny. You could also say “pardon?” like you didn’t hear what they said and then they have to say “oh I sneezed” and then just go on with your day.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson. Or just cry, it will ruin the moment for everyone.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions. Let’s also not forget rashes, Republicans and ragweed, wait what were we talking about?
EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship. Unless it involved a threesome.
NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. Like complete avoidance and denial.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. And if it’s an obsene phone caller it will probably help him get off quicker.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone. Battery operated devices will make the time spent even better.