Passive Aggressive 101
Passive-aggressive behavior refers to passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following authoritative instructions in interpersonal or occupational situations.
One of the super fun things about Erik is his passive aggressiveness. Where did this come from? Was he born this way? Was it his mom or his ex? Does he just do it for fun? I don’t think we’ll ever know.
I must note that he doesn’t fit every aspect of being PA but enough that I believe the term suits him. From a list I found I want to point out he does not fit the following: fear of dependency, fear of intimacy, fear of competition, fostering chaos or chronic lateness.
Most of the time I forget about the PA because he’s just Erik to me, annoyances and all. Lately though, they are standing out a little more than usual.
Here is how it usually works.
I ask Erik if he can do something (ie. make an appointment, do the dishes, fix something).
Erik says “ok.”
A week or so passes and I ask Erik if he did it.
Erik respondes by rolling his eyes and saying he’ll do it.
Another few weeks or months go by and I casually ask Erik if by any chance he was able to do the thing I asked him to do.
He usually groans and says he will get to it, tomorrow.
I get to the point where I have a fit and after me going on a tirade he admits he was putting it off and promises he will do it that weekend. He tells me I was right and that no, I am not a nag.
Usually about a month or two later he gets it done…when I stand in front of him and make him do it now.
This is particularly annoying when planning a wedding :rolleyes:
And no, he is not just a procrastinator. I firmly believe he is aggressivly passive about things although it’s unknown how he ended up this way, I think it’s too late to get better. I even have a book on this.
Image from The Catalog of Unfit Toys.
Oh and go see what today is :what: