Mr. and Mrs. Proper
I have always avoided etiquette and shit like that my whole life. I figure, if I piss someone off by not following the rules then I probably wouldn’t want to hang around them anyway. I go out in public in pajamas and on occasion I wear an inappropriately low cut shirt. Hey, that’s me.
Now that I am planning a wedding I am coming across this rule book again and there are a lot of things that never would have occurred to me. Did you know when you address a couple on a invitation it’s supposed to be Mr. and Mrs. Buster Hymen? I mean, you don’t even acknowledge the woman by her first name!
Are you telling me that once a woman gets married she loses her name and becomes just The Misses? Does it make me a feminist because I find this insulting?
Of course, I have to follow by these rules because addressing a married woman by her first name is rude. I certainly don’t want an angry phone call like this:
Hi Robin, this is Mrs. Buster Hyman, I noticed you addressed me on the envelope by my first name and this really upset me. I do not have a first name anymore, I am just Mrs. Buster Hyman. I had no idea you were such a heathen and therefore I can’t in good conscience attend your wedding.
I guess once I change my name I will not be Robin anymore but Mrs. Erik. Does that mean I have to start knitting or should I start up a Tupperware party?
Can I have my name back?