1. What would you do if your ex just showed up at your house right now?
I’d wonder how he got out of jail and how he learned to walk again.
2. What describes your relationship status?
In a committed loving relationship until something better comes along.
3. Where are you?
Physically? My living room. Mentally? In a hot tub with Jake Gyllenhaal. Emotionally? Exploring my lesbian side.
4. Have you ever been called a bitch?
Only because I was a female dog in a previous life.
5. Would you do anything for someone else?
Yes, if they gave me a bagel.
6. What is your favorite animal?
If you mean which animal I’d want to date? I think a Kowala bear, they seem gentle.
7. Who have you thought about most today?
8. Are you a bad influence?
Only when I’m awake and sometimes when I sleepwalk.
9. Color of your underwear?
Right now? N/A.
10. Honestly, what would you rather be doing right now?
Having a metaphysical conversation with My Kevin