Captain Hand and Spam
1. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as?
Probably disco Ken, cause it’s the only costume I have
2. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger?
Nothing weird like lettuce of mustard. I like the usual, Twizzlers and Doritos.
3. You are chosen to have lunch with the President. The condition is you only get to ask one question. What do you ask?
Did you eat paint chips as a child?
4. It’s your first day of vacation, what are you doing?
Working on my newest fetish and convincing Erik to wear the mask I got him.
5. What is your concession stand must-have at the movies?
Whoppers, I like to throw them at the bratty kids.
6. Which do you dislike most: pop-up ads or spam email?
I dislike actual spam most, who eats ham out of a can??
7. What do you think Captain Hook’s name was before he had a hook for a hand?
8. Rock, paper, or scissors?
Hancuffs? Wait, what are we talking about?
9. If you were an automobile what would you be?
A red Mini, because deep down I believe I’m British.
10. Which is worse, being in a place that is too loud, or too quiet?
A place that was too quiet because then the voices in my head get too damn loud.
11. What are the qualities that you really appreciate in a person?
honesty, humor and disturbed
12. At the good old general store, what particular kind of candy would you expect to be in the big jar at the counter?
Anything sour or really anything that makes me cry.
13. What is the most distinguishing landmark in your city?
I don’t live in a city, I live in a little town and all we have are trees and a Walmart.
14. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other?
Born again Christians talking but then again I just poison them.
15. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test?
I swear, I’m going to pass this next time.
16. If you had to have the same topping on your vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life, what topping would you choose?
Whoppers or maybe croutons.
17. What food item would need to be removed from the market altogether in order for you to live a healthier, longer life?
Not bagels, of course, I can live just fine with them. Wait, do you have bagels???
18. You are offered an envelope that you know contains $50. You are then told that you may either keep it or exchange it for another envelope that may contain $500 or may be empty. Do you keep the first envelope, or do you take your chances with the second?
I trick the person to take the second envelope and run for my life with both of them. I may be on the run but at least I’ll have $50.
19. If you had to choose, which would you give up: cable TV, or DSL/cable internet?
I’ll shoot you first, I swear.
20. What is your highest level of education?
I don’t know, you’d have to ask my pimp Jerry.
21. How much is a gallon of gas in your city? What was the highest it’s been?
I’m guessing about $17.50 a gallon.
22. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid?
23. What would you rather have, a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, or a chauffeur?
Why bother? I have Erik and he does all of those.
24. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic?
I’m tough, I’ll be trapped in an elevator that is on the back of a truck stuck in traffic.
25. Lets say a brick fell on your foot, and your kid is standing right next to you, what is your ‘cleaned up’ swear word?
Hell I’d be wondering when I had a kid :omg:
Oh and here is the best response video to the Jingle Bells Reversed: