Restraining Order Means Love
This is supposed to be an “uncomfortable” survey but being open doesn’t make me uncomfortable. Only republicans make me uncomfortable.
1. Longest real relationship?
What do you mean by “real.” I mean, I’ve had an imaginary friend for like 26 years but he and I have had our problems. Right now I’m kind of mad at him for not sending me a New Years card :annoyed:
2. Shortest real relationship?
I guess the week I lived in My Kevin’s garage but then he made me move out…or actually the cops did.
3. Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?
I thought Kevin and I would marry until he got the restraining order.
4. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
My Kevin…. 🙁
5. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
Only on purpose and by humiliation.
6. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
When I’m single and in a relationship at the same time, that’s the best.
7. Have you ever been cheated on?
I’ve been cheated out of a parking space, stupid fuckers :fu:
8. What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?
Testosterone, they do it so well.
9. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Only during one of the surgeries I performed and I happened to have a couple drinks before. Sue me :fu:
10. Talk to any of your ex’s?
They aren’t alive anymore.
11. Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
I believe they are all very lucky to have me.
12. Have you dated people who were not good to you?
Kevin calling the cops on me wasn’t very nice but I’ve forgiven him 😀
13. Have you dated someone older than you?
I prefer college age, they can get the best drugs and can get me into basement parties. Much cheaper than bars.
14. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Especially when they are trespassing on your property just so they can watch you brush your teeth. I think that should be forgiven, it was out of love.
15. Believe in love at first sight?
Oh I had love at first sight when I saw The Usual Suspects.
16. Ever dated two people at once?
Of course not! I always date at least 3 people at once.
17. Do you have something to say to any of your ex’s?
I think I said it best in my youtube musical dedication.
18. Ever stolen someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend?
I refuse to believe he was dating anyone, he will love me soon enough!
19. Ever liked someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend?
Briefly, until they become mine.
20. Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
Not when you have plenty of morphine.