No Resolutions For Me

I figure my resolutions are always the same so why bother? In fact, after reading an old journal of mine I know my resolutions haven’t changed since I was in middle school in 1991 :rolleyes:

So I thought I’d help out and hand out some resolutions:

Mr. Fabulous – You need to embrace new/younger music, some of it is pretty good if you give it a chance. Oh and from now on when looking in my window at night try cleaning them once and a while.

Kentucky Girl – Start making me cookies on a regular basis, I’ll appreciate them the most. Let’s start with non-raisin saturated oatmeal cookies and go from there.

Heather B – I’d say let’s try not to have the server down this year but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. Instead just be at my beck-and-call 24/7, sound good?

Gwen – This year I think you should fully embrace your dark side because quite honestly it gets a little lonely over here with Fab and Avi molesting each other all day.

Dutch Bitch – I want to give you an offer you can’t refuse, Erik on a lease. Now, he’s getting up there as he’s almost 40 but he’s still in pretty good condition. I can probably give you a good deal since it’s the new year and I’ll throw in a neurotic cat.

Avitable – This year I think it’s time for you to give other livestock a chance because there is more out there than sheep you know. You might try a goat or if you are really adventurous…a cow. Moo.

Frankie – Your new career should be my wedding assistant since you were the one to find me the best cupcake lady. All you have to do is just run and do whatever I email or text you. Now hop to it!

Mistress M – You must stop downplaying your sexuality because you are sexy. I want you to say it out loud right now “I am sexy.” You have every right to be open about your naughty side…stop hiding it :robin:

Janet – I might suggest you dig a little deeper with your TITMT like listing the different objects people use in masturbation. I mean, I’m just saying :dunno:

Tracy – My one recommendation is to try to be less Canadian, can you do that? I think that would be great.

The Mutt Princess – See I’m pretty sure you are a serial killer when you aren’t blogging and I think it’s time for you to just admit to it. I mean, it only makes sense.

Leanne – I’m thinking you need a hobby because you just don’t have enough to keep you busy. I mean, you know, read a book or take a walk or something. Sitting around the house all day just watching the world go by is no way to live your life.

Angel – I think it is best she move her entire family to Massachusetts in order to be my cleaning lady and organize every inch of my house.  Hell, she might as well organize my sheds and Erik’s shop too.  I can pay her in boob shots.

  1. The Absurdist

    January 2, 2008 at 9:53 am

    The problem with cows is that Avi will slip right out of them.

    For Avi, I recommend smaller animals, such as chickens, ferrets, maybe a small pony…That way, his ego won’t suffer too much.

  2. Leanne

    January 2, 2008 at 10:05 am

    I know I’m a loser, but can I have one too? I have no goals.

    :whistle:

  3. MisstressM

    January 2, 2008 at 10:10 am

    I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy! I am sexy!

    And so are you my love. Thank you for being awesome.!

  4. Robin

    January 2, 2008 at 10:14 am

    Avi – That’s good, you are moving up in the world :avi:

    The Absurdist – I can understand that, his ego is very fragile.

    Leanne – I added you, I was going to but then I didn’t. I love you, you know that.

    MistressM – I just try to live up to your awesomeness.

  5. themuttprincess

    January 2, 2008 at 10:33 am

    You may be on to something… However I am WAY too damn lazy for any of that. I leave the serial killing to Dexter!!!

  6. Mr. Fabulous

    January 2, 2008 at 10:40 am

    I think I am doing much better at the new music. Sean Kingston, The Jonas Brothers, Maroon 5, Plain White T’s, Finger Eleven, Paramore, Natasha Beddingfield….

    Huh? Huh? Better?

  7. Robin

    January 2, 2008 at 10:46 am

    TMP – I hear that, I’m too lazy to take revenge on anyone. Being a serial killer or even a stalker takes a lot of damn effort.

    Fab – You are getting better but you might throw a Foo Fighter song in there…I’m just sayin.

  8. Amanda

    January 2, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    oh my gosh The Jonas Brothers? Really? Hm…

    anyway, this is way off subject but I don’t have your email address. I saw this contest and remembered what you said erik was doing for your reception or whatever, I didn’t know if he would be interested but I know everyone needs furniture and that’s the prize

    http://www.dwr.com/champagne/?utm_campaign=Sales%2FPromotions&utm_medium=email&utm_source=iPost&utm_content=dwr-champchair0102008

  9. Tori

    January 2, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    do I smell and advice column brewing? hmmmmmmm….

  10. Gwen

    January 2, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    I know, sometimes I’m just way too much of a sweetheart for my own good.

  11. Angel

    January 2, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    Where’s my resolution? *pouts*

    Also, I think Mr. Fab should have to at least clean your windows if he is going to be peeping.

  12. Manda

    January 2, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    dishing out resolutions for others is genius…i need to do this for my husband.

  13. Mr. Fabulous

    January 2, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    Foo Fighters? That’s not NEW.

    Let’s make one thing clear, people. Yes, I am a peeper, but I am peeping at ERIK. If HE wants me to wash the windows I’ll do it.

  14. Robin

    January 2, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Amanda – I’ve seen that before, I’ll show this to him tonight but he doesn’t have much time. Thanks.

    Tori – That would be sooooo much fun!!!

    Leanne – :robin:

    Gwen – I know it, you are like the blogging world’s Mother Theresa.

    Angel – I forgot you, I’m sorry…it’s hard to get everyone.

    Manda – I have a good idea a couple times a year.

    Fab – They might be new to you geezer. Ok, you got me there…I just try to steal his limelight is all.

  15. Heather B

    January 2, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    thought i was always at your beck-n-call? lol

  16. themuttprincess

    January 2, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    It certainly does. I don’t have it in me to take revenge either… I do dream about it for some assholes in my life….. But I always leave it to Karma…..

    Sigh.

  17. Robin

    January 2, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    HeatherB – Not 24/7 yet, what if I break my blog at like 3 am??

    TMP – Karma is a great sidekick :whosnext:

  18. Heather B

    January 2, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    well ya gotta remember that 3 a.m. for u is only midnight here and im usually up 🙂

  19. Angel

    January 3, 2008 at 9:56 am

    Whee!! I got a resolution. I love organizing, snow, cold weather, and the beach. Oh, and boob shots. We’ll start packing!

  20. cheri

    January 4, 2008 at 12:09 pm

    Very fun idea. Good resolutions too!

  21. Gemini

    January 4, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    I am her sister and I am surprised that I didn’t make it on here with her wedding coming up and everything.

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