Faux Pas

A faux pas is a violation of accepted, although unwritten, social rules. Faux pas vary widely from culture to culture and what is considered good manners in one culture can be considered a faux pas in another.

First I have to say that it took me a good 20 minutes to figure out how to spell this, damn French words are always screwing me up :annoyed:

How important is being socially acceptable? Why does there have to be expectations about how to act in society? Why can’t we just be ourselves and do things our way?

[private]A day or two before Thanksgiving Erik told his mother he would be at my parent’s house for the day and made sure to wish her a happy Thanksgiving before hanging up the phone. Of course, on the day of Thanksgiving she called and called and called furious he wasn’t picking up the phone. She was visiting her brother and Erik (who hates the phone even more than I do I think) did not want to speak to every single member of the household.

Of course MIL left angry voicemails for him about how she didn’t know where he was and reminding him how it was Thanksgiving. I swear, the way she responds to things like that you would think the world was imploding at that moment. Erik knew within a day or two she’d throw a shit fit and he was prepared to give it back as well.

So he gets the call and she’s going on and on about what a “faux pas” it was for him not to speak to his mother on Thanksgiving. All about how inappropriate and/or rude it was. She explained how bad it made him look. Why does she care so much about what other people think? And isn’t Thanksgiving just about being thankful and spending time with people you love? When did guilt become a part of it?

He of course told her off right back, as it’s the only way to deal with her. He informed her that he was spending time with my family and that he didn’t want to speak to every member of her family that day. I’m so proud he didn’t bullshit as he often does, he just gave it to her straight.

I’m sure she’s still pissy about it all as that’s what she does. She holds onto this shit longer than she holds onto all the damn “heirlooms” in her house.[/private]

What’s the moral of this story? Stop obsessing about what is right by society standards and just let everyone be themselves!! :whosenext:

  1. Mr. Fabulous

    November 28, 2007 at 8:39 am

    And I don’t think that technically what he did was actually even a faux pas.

  2. Robin

    November 28, 2007 at 8:42 am

    I think it all depends on whose rule book you are looking at. If it’s hers then I suppose that is a faux pas but then so is a lot of stuff that most wouldn’t consider a faux pas. I like writing that word, I feel special for some reason.

  3. Tori

    November 28, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    I hope he reminded her that he TOLD her that he wasn’t going to be around… I hate it when someone else’s faulty memory causes me drama…

  4. bluepaintred

    November 28, 2007 at 1:18 pm

    why does it say private content removed?

  5. Robin

    November 28, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    Tori – Oh he did, he did :dunce:

    BPR – You have to be logged in to read.

  6. Avitable

    November 28, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    While I can understand a mother wanting to talk to her son on a holiday, it’s still a bit strange that she was so upset about it. Of course, if Erik was there and was purposely not answering, that is a bit rude.

  7. Robin

    November 28, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    She was calling his cell phone, which he never ever has on him…no matter how much I remind him.

  8. Angel

    November 28, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    My mother does the same shit. With my mother, she is terribly afraid that she is being forgotten, or that we don’t love her as much as we love whoever else we happen to be visiting….even if I tell her that I will not be seeing her in advance.

    I agree with the way Erik dealt with it. If she’s anything like my mother, after he tells her off a few times, she’ll quiet down and learn to deal with the fact that she is not the center of his world, and that the family consists of more than just her, and they deserve to get visits on holidays too.

  9. Robin

    November 28, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    Actually no matter how much any of us try to explain things to her or even go off on her about things…she changes for about a week and goes right back to it all. I truly believe it’s because she lives so far away and doesn’t seem to have a social life of any kind.

  10. Gemini

    November 29, 2007 at 8:54 am

    I concure… She really is OVER the top…

    She feels like she has the right to act like this with her sons because she is their mother.

    What she doesnt realize is that she needs to Chill out and she would probably have a better relationship with both of them Erik and Leo.

  11. Maureen

    November 29, 2007 at 10:02 am

    Sigh… It’s understandable that her feelings were hurt. She’s human & we’re all fragile. But, seriously, it’s not like she didn’t know where he was. And, while I can understand & forgive feeling hurt – I don’t think she has any right to being angry.

  12. Robin

    November 29, 2007 at 10:13 am

    Gemini – I can’t help but wonder if she’d be this bad if she had family around her. I’d like to believe she’d get as sick of her sons as we sometimes do if she saw them regularly :twitchy:

    Maureen – Oh definitely, I do feel for her that she is lonely but it’s all her decision to live so far away.

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