Love Is

I think the truth is that you don’t really know what love is until you’ve found it, which means even if you think you know you may not. The thing is, if it is love then there are no doubts and no uncertainty. There may be an uncertainty about your future and how you’ll handle certain things but there is no doubt about being together.

When you find the right person you will do whatever you have to do to be with that person. You will travel miles to see them, you will give up just about anything and above all else you will do what you have to not to miss another second with them. You won’t question this or that, there will be no question.

Am I speaking from personal experience? Yes and from others I’ve seen as well. I’ve thought I’ve been in-love with guys before and looking back I realize that it wasn’t anything close. I liked them a lot, I cared about them but eventually there just wasn’t enough there to sustain the relationship.

There was one ex-boyfriend that every time I found myself alone or coming out of another unsuccessful relationship I decided for the millionth time that my ex was the love of my life. I was sure about this off and on for too many years. Never mind that I really didn’t know him anymore or that we’d only dated for a year as teenagers. He was always the one I went back to longing but the feeling was never mutual.

The moment I met my fiancé I stopped thinking about anyone else in that way and it was all about him. When I fell in love with him I had to move in and I never wanted to be away from him. At first when we dated I traveled to visit him but very quickly I just realized being with him was more important than anything else and that the rest would eventually fall into place.

He too had to go through a lot to be with me, it was never easy and looking back I can’t believe we went through what we did. We both are in awe sometimes, how did we make it so far? We never could imagine not being together and the sacrifices were always worth it.

* This post is in regards to a specific person and situation that I had to get off my chest.

  1. Stephanie

    July 25, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    Well, I sure as hell hope I figure it out one day!!!

    Oh, but unconditional love is the love you feel when you have kids… that part I know!

  2. Robin

    July 25, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    Oh that’s something else entirely.

    I was speaking more about a friend in a situation right now.

  3. Sodapop

    July 25, 2007 at 1:59 pm

    I think that most people are afraid to LET themselves just have faith and to “believe” in the feelings they have. Some of us have been hurt so badly, we can’t see past the pain to what really lies beneath.

    I agree with you on several (actually everything) in this post. I know that when I find the right person, I would definitely do whatever it took. Relocate, compromise, etc etc.

    I hope your friend figures it out and I have faith one day I’ll find the kind of love you speak about.

  4. themuttprincess

    July 25, 2007 at 3:56 pm

    I know what you mean about “thinking” you were in love before. I too had a few people that I thought was love… And now being with my BF I know it was a mere passing fancy. And that is it.

    Great post!!!!!

  5. cheri

    July 25, 2007 at 4:21 pm

    That love sounds so wonderful! Damn I guess I’ve never really been in love…with a man. I do love my boy!!

  6. Frankie

    July 25, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    Thats soo true on so many levels. One really never knows love until the day they find it and it takes you by surprise because its so new and wonderful.

  7. Robin

    July 26, 2007 at 8:14 am

    Sodapop – I agree that fear is a problem but if it’s the right person they can probably ease the fear just by being who they are.

    Cheri – That’s a lot of love and I’m just spewing crap…I just know it’s what I believe for myself.

    Frankie – Yes.

  8. Maureen

    July 26, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    For me, looking back, I realize that there were a lot of times when I *wanted to be in love with someone* and so acted like I was in love with someone. Having never been there, never been in love, you don’t really know how it works or how it’s going to happen. You see movies & TV shows, read books & try to figure out the trick, the process, the plan of action you need to follow to get there.

    But, it ends up, there isn’t one. Or, maybe there is, but it’s nothing you can control.

    It’s just finding the right person at the right time when both of you are ready for it (whether you realize it right at first, or not). There may be some maneuvering, some changing of perspective, some ritual courting dance moves that make both of you feel comfortable & willing to bare your hearts and share your lives, but it’s going to be different for every couple, in every relationship. The steps, the plan, the process, the ‘tricks’, the game, the mating ritual that makes you realize that you want to spend forever with someone & wish that you had known them your whole life… that has to be different for each couple, the way a certain key will only fit a certain lock & will be completely useless in another.

  9. Robin

    July 26, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    Maureen, that was said SO well! :clap: I think you should have written this post. That’s why I’d love for you to be a contributor to this blog.

  10. Tara

    July 26, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    Yep. Mmm hmmm. Nodding here.

    I thought I found love, but had the farthest thing from it. Who knows, maybe I’ll find it with The Photographer. If not, then I’ll keep looking. It’s out there!!!


  11. Robin

    July 27, 2007 at 8:57 am

    We’ve all made that mistake before.

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