Bridesmaid’s Contract

I sent this to my bridesmaids for fun:

Bridesmaid’s Contract

Hello my beautiful bridesmaids! Let me just say again how happy I am that you are going to
be a part of my special day! Below are just a few guidelines for the wedding that I’d like you
to review, please initial by each point, sign at the end and send back to me. Just want to
make sure they’re aren’t any surprises! The planning bride is a happy bride!
Thanks a bunch! Love ya!
-The Bride-To-Be

______ My hair will remain at the length it is now or longer.
______ I will not change my hair color without first consulting Robin and
providing a sample photo or hair swatch for consideration.
______ I will use Sally Hansen’s “Maximum Growth-Daily Nail Growth program”
every day for the 4 months before the wedding day.
______ I will not gain more than 4lbs from the weight I was when I was asked to
be a bridesmaid.
______ I will join a well-known weight loss program and through whatever
means necessary will lose the desired amount of weight as previously discussed
with Robin at the time when asked to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
______ I swear to attend all showers, (lingerie, kitchen, bridal & bachelorette) to
arrive in a timely manner and do everything in my power to support and “be
there” for the bride.
______ I will purchase the Bill Levkoff style # 464 dress below in Pistachio/Ivory
within 3 weeks of today.
______ I will NOT knowingly get pregnant without notifying Robin at least 6
months prior to the wedding so a suitable alternate can be found. I will also give my purchased bridesmaid dress to said alternate.

I do hereby swear that I will adhere to all of the above & other understood
bridesmaid duties for the wedding on June 22, 2008.


  1. J.

    July 6, 2007 at 1:36 pm

    That’s cute.
    And too true, actually.
    Thankfully, I only had my little sis standing with me .. and also thankfully, she’s a pretty cool (GORGEOUS!) chick. Heh.

  2. themuttprincess

    July 6, 2007 at 1:36 pm


    I know that your friends will laugh as well.

  3. J.

    July 6, 2007 at 1:36 pm

    WHY am I still a virgin???

  4. Angel

    July 6, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    That is adorable!! Did you just make that up or did you find it somewhere? I love it!!

  5. Leanne

    July 6, 2007 at 3:34 pm

    You forgot one:

    _____ I will not completely flake out on Robin after the wedding, thereby making her cringe everytime she sees my face in her beautiful wedding photos. I will not disappear off the face of the planet or otherwise be a total ass after her wedding day.

  6. cheri

    July 6, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    That’s hilarious and totally wrong all at the same time! lol

  7. themuttprincess

    July 6, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    Leanne has a point. That is a VERY important one.


  8. Robin

    July 6, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    J. – All my BM’s are great! You are a virgin because you aren’t ready to give it up.

    TMP – So far…

    Angel – I heard about it in a magazine where a bride did this as a joke by email and they all had a fit thinking it was real. I found it online.

    Leanne – That is a VERY good one.

  9. Heather B

    July 7, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    That is so freaking funny

  10. Mike Thomas

    July 7, 2007 at 6:11 pm


    We would like to do an interview with you about your blog for . We’d like to give you the opportunity to
    give us some insight on the “person behind the blog.”

    It would just take a few minutes of your time. The interview form can
    be submitted online at

    Best regards,

    Mike Thomas

  11. Mr. Fabulous

    July 7, 2007 at 7:16 pm

    If anyone drops out, I’m in, right? :fab:

  12. Janet

    July 8, 2007 at 10:54 am

    Oh thank God. For a minute there I missed the joke part and thought you were serious! And here I thought we were on the same wave length all along! LOL

  13. Robin

    July 8, 2007 at 11:03 am

    Fab – Of course, although I still need an officiant.

    Janet – :lmfao: I might cry to myself but I”m too pussy to yell at anyone else.

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