The Wise One Speaks
Here are some nuggets of knowledge to help you get through life a little easier:
- When at a college party be careful of the red punch or you may end up on the floor at the end of the night.
- For that matter, if you start feeling dizzy do not call your mother at 1 am.
- Wear sunblock, hats and sit in the shade when you can; blotchy dried up skin is not sexy.
- Be careful who you choose to spend the rest of your life with, this decision shouldn’t be made lightly.
- Enjoy the age you are at that moment, you’ll never be able to be it again.
- Do not take medicine before you go out drinking.
- Do no mix liquor with beer, just trust me on this.
- Don’t accept a drink from a stranger, especially a Long Island Iced Tea.
- It’s better to be alone for the right reasons than in a relationship for the wrong reasons.
- When performing an oral task be careful not to choke :what:
- Have a lot of sex with different people before you settle down because a lot of people are really bad in the sack.
- Be careful who you flip off on the highway, they might be psychotic enough to drive you off the rode.
- You don’t have to be a success in life, you can just as well pretend to be one online.
- Your computer desktop is not a real window, get outside once and a while.
- Just because you sing Avril Levine super well when you are in the car alone does not mean you’ll sound the same when you are doing karaoke after a few drinks.
Now that I’ve shared my wisdom…go on with your day and use my tools of survival.