The Wise One Speaks

Here are some nuggets of knowledge to help you get through life a little easier:

  1. When at a college party be careful of the red punch or you may end up on the floor at the end of the night.
  2. For that matter, if you start feeling dizzy do not call your mother at 1 am.
  3. Wear sunblock, hats and sit in the shade when you can; blotchy dried up skin is not sexy.
  4. Be careful who you choose to spend the rest of your life with, this decision shouldn’t be made lightly.
  5. Enjoy the age you are at that moment, you’ll never be able to be it again.
  6. Do not take medicine before you go out drinking.
  7. Do no mix liquor with beer, just trust me on this.
  8. Don’t accept a drink from a stranger, especially a Long Island Iced Tea.
  9. It’s better to be alone for the right reasons than in a relationship for the wrong reasons.
  10. When performing an oral task be careful not to choke :what:
  11. Have a lot of sex with different people before you settle down because a lot of people are really bad in the sack.
  12. Be careful who you flip off on the highway, they might be psychotic enough to drive you off the rode.
  13. You don’t have to be a success in life, you can just as well pretend to be one online.
  14. Your computer desktop is not a real window, get outside once and a while.
  15. Just because you sing Avril Levine super well when you are in the car alone does not mean you’ll sound the same when you are doing karaoke after a few drinks.

Now that I’ve shared my wisdom…go on with your day and use my tools of survival.

  1. Kentucky Girl

    June 14, 2007 at 2:23 am

    Oh my! Thanks for the sage advice! I always wondered how I got so plastered at parties just drinking that diving fruit punch. The fruit was VERY tasty!

  2. Mr. Fabulous

    June 14, 2007 at 6:47 am

    Number 11 is so true. And yet, everyone thinks they are good.

    Everyone is not.

  3. heather(anne)

    June 14, 2007 at 10:22 am

    I can hit every note perfectly when I’m alone in my car. But only when I’m alone in my car.

    I’ve never choked during oral tasks. But I have gagged a few times.

    I agree with the sex thing. Very few people are as good as they like to think they are.

  4. Mistress Yoda

    June 14, 2007 at 11:34 am

    KG – Too bad I couldn’t help you at the time but then I wish somebody had informed me.

    Fab – So true. I haven’t had a LOT of partners compared to most people but I’d say the majority of them were not up to par.

    Miss Heather – Except you and I, of course we are so good we could teach classes.

  5. Geeky Dragon Girl

    June 14, 2007 at 12:00 pm

    Ohhh, so I can pretend to be a success online! Awesome tip. Have I told you about my Ferrari?

  6. themuttprincess

    June 14, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    You are a wise one!

    4,5 and 9 are probably ones I have already learned but did need to be reminded of.

  7. Mr. Fabulous

    June 14, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    I still don’t understand how I stole your thunder…

  8. Avitable

    June 14, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    My desktop is better than a real window! I can see into unknown lands, the depths of space, and look at boobs!

  9. Mistress Yoda

    June 14, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    GDG – I don’t believe you have :eyebrow:

    TMP – I am here to remind as well.

    Fab – Don’t you think our posts are similar in ideas? No? I guess then there really wasn’t any thunder.

    Avi – You have a point, it just better be my boobies on your desktop.

  10. Avitable

    June 14, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    It would be if you’d send me that 1600X1200 picture of them.

  11. metalmom

    June 14, 2007 at 5:06 pm

    That red punch is the devil’s milk!!! YUM!!! đŸ‘¿

  12. janet

    June 14, 2007 at 5:17 pm

    Ok this post took me in a different direction in terms of how to interview you. Blame it on the fact that this was the last thing you wrote about!:)

    1. What is your favorite college memory?
    2. Tell me your best drunk story.
    3. What is your favorite song to sing at the top of your lungs when you know no one is watching?
    4. What movie was question number 9 talked about in?
    5. What is the story of your worst sexual experience?

  13. metalmom

    June 14, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    OOh!! I’ve been called a virgin!! Mr. Fabulous can tell you that I’m anything but!! :lmfao:

  14. Mistress Yoda

    June 14, 2007 at 6:08 pm

    Avi – As long as you don’t start drooling on your keyboard :drool:

    Metalmom – :wave: Oh yes, that was what I learned first at college. So are you anything butt or anything but??

    Janet – Superb questions! I’ll do it tomorrow!

  15. Mr. Fabulous

    June 15, 2007 at 5:49 am

    Okay, I get it now. At first I kept looking for something in your post about Ahmoo choking his chicken.

  16. Mistress Yoda

    June 15, 2007 at 7:46 am

    You are quite obsessed with Ahmoo and him choking his chicken :crazy:

  17. Avitable

    June 15, 2007 at 7:51 am

    He keeps asking me if he can watch.

  18. Mr. Fabulous

    June 15, 2007 at 7:56 am

    I would do one of you, but I don’t think I can make Sculpeys with boobies at work ! :what:

  19. Mr. Fabulous

    June 15, 2007 at 8:44 am

    Well it would be nice to see it live just once. All I have are the videos you sent me.

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