The Truth About Avitable

The first Comment Contest at RLU has finished and here is the final score (or at least when I went to bed):

As you can see the winner is the good ol sheep lover Avi and now I will go into much more about who Avitable really is. The contest of April is on so let’s play fair :whosnext:

Avitable of the blogworld was born in a small town in Mexico and was traded to a family in the united states for a donkey. To this day I think his American family still questions whether the trade was fair. Still, he’s on his way to making name for himself as one of the top ten most disturbed bloggers and well…that’s about all he’s really done with his life.

Some things you may not have known about Avitable is that his favorite Jelly Belly is Pickled Pig Fetus but somehow I think he came up with that on in his basement. I would like to believe that your favorite Jelly Belly says a lot about who you are as a person and I think we all would like to not dig to deep into the real meaning this time.

If there world were going to end in the next 10 minutes Avi would like to spend those last precious minutes fucking everything in site (I assume that means livestock, dishwashers and republicans) and then he would eat it. So I suggest, if the world is about to end to run for your lives unless the way you would like to spend your last minutes on earth is being Avi’s fuck conquest and his last meal.

Avi expects to have his 15 minutes of fame any day now and you’ll see him on the cover of People with the words “The Man Who Makes Women Speak Yiddish From Orgasm.” Actually, it would probably be Anna Nicole Smith or Britney Spears this happened with. Or just maybe he might luck out and give Avril the night of her life…her music would sure sound much more interesting after that :eyebrow:

But let’s get serious for a moment, because Avi is quite the humanitarian and he really cares about the earth. When he buries the dead hookers in his backyard (usually cut in pieces) he likes to use brown packing paper because it is biodegradable. Now that is a man that cares about the earth, we could all learn a lot from such a man.

His next project is to develop the new miracle drug called Voy-R and peeping toms all over the world will owe him a debt of gratitude.

  1. DeniseTN

    April 2, 2007 at 6:32 am

    LMAO. How did you get so much information about Avi? Did you hire a private investigator? I KNEW that he was hiding tons of details about his true identity! :clap:

    I’m hurt. Why don’t I have an acronym? 🙁

  2. Mr. Fabulous

    April 2, 2007 at 7:47 am

    My only beef with Avi is that when he buries the hookers he’s a little sloppy about packing the dirt back down good and hard. When I visited and he gave me the tour, I very nearly turned my ankle a couple of times in the soft earth.

  3. Avitable

    April 2, 2007 at 9:04 am

    My private space has been violated! I must move, change my name and hide from the world again. From now on, I’ll be known as Feivel Silverfleece!

  4. Robin

    April 2, 2007 at 9:07 am

    Denise – I’m quite crafty, let’s just say when you are digging through someone’s trash make sure you wear gloves :what:

    Mr. Fab – He’s quite inconsiderate that way.

    Avi – Oh Feivel, don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns 👿

  5. stephanie

    April 2, 2007 at 9:08 am

    I now know everything there is to know about Avi. I feel so incredibly… violated.


  6. Joefish

    April 2, 2007 at 11:05 am

    I knew there was something to that dead hooker thing.

  7. NYC Watchdog

    April 2, 2007 at 11:10 am

    This is the prime reason why I don’t send my girls down to Florida… because then they’ll end up in his backyard. A new crack whore costs at least $15… and that’s an expense I just can’t justify.

    On the bright side though… his backyard is a natural cannabis field.

  8. Robin

    April 2, 2007 at 11:40 am

    Stephanie – As you should.

    Joefish – He really tries not to let this get out, because of taxes and all.

    Watchdog – I think you can get crack whores for a good deal at BJs, like 3 for $30 but then you have to be a member.

  9. Tori

    April 2, 2007 at 11:43 am

    Oh Avi… I knew there was a deep seeded reason for my love of him… Robin sees right through the soft exterior…

  10. Avitable

    April 2, 2007 at 12:09 pm

    By the way – the photo is awesome!

    I feel such a connection to everyone now that my deepest darkest secrets are out there for the world to read.

  11. Robin

    April 2, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    Tori – I do…it requires a bit of mind games and hypnosis :dazed:

    Avi – Like Dahmer had with his victims? :eyebrow:

  12. Avitable

    April 2, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    You should see what’s in my freezer. :what:

  13. NYC Watchdog

    April 2, 2007 at 1:53 pm

    If that’s my blonde in your freezer, I need her back. She was a top earner… and a natural… blonde that is.

  14. Robin

    April 2, 2007 at 1:59 pm

    Avi – A ham steak? :confused:

    WD – Now boys…lets play fair…Avi, give him back his hooker.

  15. Avitable

    April 2, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    Okay, fine, but I’m keeping the head.

  16. NYC Watchdog

    April 2, 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Well what good is a matching rug without the drapes??? Geez…

  17. Crys!

    April 3, 2007 at 7:34 am

    haha, new avi gravatar

  18. Avitable

    April 3, 2007 at 8:10 am

    Heh. I like mine the way it is, thank you very much!

  19. Geeky Dragon Girl

    April 3, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    Wow I actually made it onto the list? Surprising considering my available time is so sporadic.

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