Still Childfree

I’m a little late posting this but that is what back dating is for. Sunday March 4th is the official day to celebrate being Purple.

At this point I’m kind of known for saying I won’t do something and then one day changing my mind. I’m not surprised if people think I’m a little unsure about what I want in life and that’s probably the best way to look at it.

I consider myself childfree (as in not wanting children of my own) but I’ve learned to “never say never” because you never know how you’ll feel later on in life. Looking back at the person I was 10 years ago I would never have guessed I would be engaged to a guy who has an 8 year old daughter but life changes us along the way or maybe we change with life.

I’ve never wanted to have children and have known that since I was a teenager. I’m a sensitive girl and I think above everything; I just didn’t feel I had the strength to raise a child. Maybe someday I will reach a point in my life where I feel differently but it won’t be anytime soon.

I worry it will be something I’ll regret and sometimes I wonder if this emptiness I feel has something to do with this but then that really isn’t a reason to create a person. I take it very seriously, maybe too seriously, but I think it’s the biggest decision you can make.

So maybe I changed my mind about getting married and maybe I changed my mind about a few other things but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t sure about my feelings at that moment. I would never say never but I know 100% about how I feel now and that’s what matters.

10 Comments

  1. Jen

    March 5, 2007 at 9:35 am

    Maybe the fact that you’re thinking about children is a sign…. :thumbsup: or maybe not! Only you can decide that!

  2. Robin

    March 5, 2007 at 9:37 am

    :dunno: You never know but I know now is a big NO.

  3. Avitable

    March 5, 2007 at 9:40 am

    While I agree with you completely (in wanting to be childfree for the foreseeable future), I think having an official day and a place to talk about not doing something is a bit strange.

  4. Robin

    March 5, 2007 at 9:42 am

    Yeah, I can see your point Avitable but since I regularly contribute to the blog I thought I’d join in.

  5. Mr. Fabulous

    March 5, 2007 at 10:23 am

    I have never wanted to have children either. I am way too selfish and self-absorbed. I want to spend my money on me. Plus, I hear that they grow up to be ungrateful bastards.

    Sure, the downside is that there will be no one to take care of Mrs. Fab and me in our declining years, but that’s what we have the murder-suicide pact for…

  6. Robin

    March 5, 2007 at 10:27 am

    I’m with you Mr. Fab – other than the muder-suicide pact. I just told Mr. Yoda he can’t die before me, that’s our deal.

  7. Maureen

    March 5, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    Kids are a great distraction, too. I just don’t have time to feel down much of the time. But, I’m OK with that, too. And, of course, that in itself is no reason to have kids (and, possibly, a very good reason not to have them, if your own emotional health is such that you would not be able to be a good parent – although DH has his spats with real depression and he is able to put it all aside when it comes to the kids).

    Anyway – keep on taking your time & being true to yourself. That is the most loving thing you can do.

  8. Geeky Dragon Girl

    March 5, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    I’m with Mr. Fab on this, being responsible for kids really drains the resources away from the most important thing — ME! Most parents I meet their lives revolve around their kids.

    Ever since I found out how babies are made, I’ve known I wanted no part of it. No thank you to the pain and the lifetime of being responsible for someone else.

    Reminds me of that scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary when she’s interviewing at this children’s TV station, the guy asks her, “So, do you have any children of your own?” Without thinking she replies, “Oh god no, yughh!”

  9. Anita

    March 6, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    Hey, just be true to yourself. Today you may not want kids, and tomorrow you might want 10. As long as you do what you feel is right at that particular moment, that’s all that counts (even if you switch positions 800 times in life). Change makes life interesting.

  10. LawGeek

    March 9, 2007 at 11:35 am

    Having a day to celebrate childfreedom is no stranger than joining an atheist organization. When you make a choice that is outside of the mainstream, for which you can be ostracized, it can make a lot of sense to create recognition and community for that.

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