Is Love A Choice?

Here are the poll results:

Is love a choice?

  • No, love chooses us (47%)
  • Yes, everything is a choice (29%)
  • Sometimes (18%)
  • I’m not sure (6%)
  • What are you talking about? (0%)

Total Votes: 17

I chose “love chooses us” and even back when I was a miserable bitter chick listening to Alanis Morisette I still believed that.

I don’t believe love is a choice because if it were, many of us might make “smarter” choices. Mr. Yoda certainly wasn’t the “easiest” choice of who to be with but as I saw it he was my only choice. Once I fell in love with him I feel I lost all control of it.

Did I have control over moving in with him? Yes. Did I have control over making a life with him? Certainly. Did I have control over falling in love with him? No, because I don’t believe I have control over my feelings.

While I don’t feel I have control over my feelings I do have control over my actions. I am responsible for all my actions even if I wasn’t in control of the feelings that brought on the actions. I might have an intense feeling to pull my shirt off in public but I know better…at least now I do.

So, when I say love isn’t a choice I mean we have no control over our emotions but we have control over how we respond to those emotions; there is a big difference between emotion and action in my book.

What are your thoughts?

  1. Star

    January 8, 2007 at 11:06 am

    WAY TOO DEEP.. for a Monday Morning. I am having a hard enough time figuring out where my coffee is every minute. You need to read the book, “How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You.” It’s really good and explains these mysteries. I am a hopeless romantic and believe in everything love. Oh yes, the book, I got it as a gift for my friend but my hubby told me that it wasn’t appropriate so I started reading it and it was quite eye opening how that ATTRACTION thing happens. Wild.

  2. Mr. Fabulous

    January 8, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    I will give you the same response I give Mrs. Fab whenever I get lost when she is sprouting legalese:

    I like cheese. All kinds of cheese. Why can’t just cheese be a meal? I like Swiss cheese, and cheddar cheese and string cheese…

  3. Mr. Fabulous

    January 8, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    Obviously I meant “spouting” legalese not “sprouting” it. To my knowledge, nothing is growing on her.

  4. Robin

    January 8, 2007 at 12:09 pm

    Star – Yeah it’s a bit early but I needed to end the poll and I’d written this up ahead of time.

    Mr. Fab – Yeah that’s what Mr. Yoda does and everything revolves around cheese as well. In fact, I think he may sprout cheese from time to time.

  5. Maureen

    January 8, 2007 at 12:33 pm

    And, in my experience, anyway, sometimes love is just random lucky chance with no ‘choice’ involved at all. It just happens & you don’t realize it until you’re there all wrapped up in it. And, it doesn’t really feel like it was planned anywhere or could ever happen again. Just random & lucky beyond belief.

  6. Chris

    January 8, 2007 at 2:38 pm

    Absolutely agree with you that you can’t choose who you fall in love with but you can choose what you do about it.

  7. Teri

    January 9, 2007 at 1:18 am

    Okay, love choses you and sometimes it plays tricks. It teaches you lessons. There are different kinds of love.

    My cat loves me. He definitely chose me! My live-in boyfriend at the time chose him at the local shelter. Thisame cat always peed in his laundry basket, never mine. I had to protect him many times from the evil boyfriend who wanted to drop kick him. I said it would be easier, and have greater result to simply clean the cat box. :whosnext:

  8. Robin

    January 9, 2007 at 8:19 am

    Maureen – Yeah, it definitely is often just chance.

    Chris – Yep!

    Teri – Oh yes, definitely different kinds of love. I should post about it sometime. I definitely think Pilot chose us and Aurora was a wonderful chance.

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