My Decision To Have Surgery
I started developing really quickly and by the end of fourth grade I was already needing to wear a bra. I remember some of the girls in my private school teased me about the bra so much I eventually stopped wearing it but down the line I had no choice to start wearing them again.
When I started going to public school in 7th grade I was abnormally developed and this made me stand out. As a shy 12 year old the very last thing I wanted was to stand out and I tried to hide them as much as I could but it was pretty much impossible.
Given the confusing hormones of that age the teasing began quickly and continued to escalate daily. Boys would make remarks, a lot of them I don’t think I even fully understood. Sometimes it would get so bad I would go to the bathroom to cry but I don’t think I ever said anything to anyone.
One time this boy named Matt actually tried to touch them in front of a bunch of people and I hit him with my books. I eventually was such a mess over this that I told my reading disability tutor and she told the principal. Know what happened? He missed out on one hockey game and the sexual harassment never stopped.
It didn’t help that my breasts looked funny and it was tough being so awkward as I hit my early teens. I couldn’t go to sleep without a bra on and they caused a lot of pain when I took a shower. My breasts sagged a lot and I had to wear a leotard whenever I did Colorguard because they had to be strapped down.
By age 15 they were bigger than a DDD and when I went to the semi-formal I had to have a dress made for me because no dress would fit my breasts. I was always embarrassed and was always frustrated I couldn’t wear the clothes most girls my age wore. I was also overweight at that point, that didn’t help.
I decided at that age to finally get a breast reduction surgery and I don’t think I even had a moments doubt about it. I think I was more worried about how kids would react when they found out and if I’d get teased more. To my surprise during my surgery that kid Matt (the one who sexually harassed me for years) actually asked my then boyfriend if I was going to be okay. Makes you wonder.
To be continued…