Living With A Boy

Before Erik I had never lived with a boy before other than a co-ed dorm but that is quite different. I remember when the idea of sleeping next to a guy seemed like the most wonderful thing in the world. The first time I ever even slept next to a guy I didn’t sleep because I was so nervous, that was a very long 8 hours.

I’m not sure living with Erik though is a true experience of living with a guy because most things guys are supposed to do he doesn’t and the ones he does I also do. (pull)Sometimes I think I am more of a guy than he is and he’s more of a woman than I am(/pull). At the very least I think we’re a nice mixture of both genders and maybe a tad confusing to other people.

First I need to note that Erik has only left the toilet seat up once ever and I think he was probably just distracted when it happened. I’ve heard this is annoyance to most women who live with men but it’s something I’ve never really experienced.

I also don’t have any issues when it comes to the tv other than him always talking to me when I’m engrossed in a show (which is almost all the time). I don’t have to worry about a sports game being on because he doesn’t watch any sports. He doesn’t hog the remote either; he knows the remote belongs to me and I plan to put that in the marriage agreement.

He also doesn’t leave his clothes everywhere but I do and it drives him crazy. Actually I’m a lot messier than he is although he’s not quite a neat freak either.

For me, living with a guy has helped me understand myself better and see the world a little differently too. It’s not always easy sharing a life with someone (including bills, chores and all of life’s unexpected problems) but in doing so I think is an important step we all take.

Many think getting married and having children are the big steps in life (and they are big steps). So far, for me, the most important decision I’ve ever made was to move in with Erik and it’s also the best decision I’ve ever made. Every single day I learn something new and feel more comfortable in the place where I luckily ended up.

  1. Maureen

    October 30, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    Blecch! I hate gender stereotypes. I hate them for men as much as I hate them for women. I’d hate to think that anyone would pre-judge all of who I am based on a gender stereotype (God knows, there are so many women in the world that do things that make me embarrassed to share the same gender with them).

    Gender stereotypes set up expectations for people that make them feel bad if they don’t meet them. My husband, for example, feels awful when something goes wrong with the car & he doesn’t somehow magically know how to fix it simply because he has male reproductive organs. Now, why should he feel bad about the fact that he hasn’t learned how to do something that some people spend years learning & take great pride in doing well?

    Rant, rant, rant, I could go on & on about this topic :willy_nilly:

    Anyway… I never really ‘got’ the toilet seat issue. If it’s rude for him to leave it up, isn’t it equally rude for a woman to leave it down? Anyway, in our house, we want it closed all the way, to keep pets from drinking out of it!

    We are all unique people. It’s not our genders but our life lessons that make us different from one another. Any time that two of us get together, no matter what the genders, it’s best to get to know each other as we are (not as our stereotypes are) & find ways to work together from there.

  2. Chris

    October 30, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    I always come in the door from work, take off my socks and drop them wherever I happen to be standing. It drives him absolutely mental. I’m not a neat freak at all.
    I think it’s interesting the things you learn about people when you live with them, but I couldn’t imagine not sharing my life with him.

  3. Robin

    October 30, 2006 at 2:42 pm

    Maureen – Well said, both Erik and I really hate gender stereotypes because neither of us fit them very well.  We drive people crazy because we won’t just act the way we’re supposed to :rolleyes:  My point of the post was how cool it is though to live with someone and get to know them and how it changes everything.  I’m so lucky the only guy I’ve ever lived with was Erik.  I only lived with one other person, a girl, and this is much better.

    Chris – Actually, me leaving food out drives him the most crazy but I do tend to leave my socks all over the house. I think we both agree that even with all the annoyance we wouldn’t change a thing.

  4. Joefish

    October 30, 2006 at 7:15 pm

    Sometimes I think I am more of a guy than he is and he’s more of a woman than I am.

    So… you’re both transgender? Then you’re really lucky you found each other. :cheesy:

    I’ve never understood why it’s a man’s responsibility to put the toilet seat down, rather than a woman’s responsibility to put the toilet seat up. But mostly I think, “It’s a toilet seat… get over it.”

  5. Gary

    October 30, 2006 at 8:20 pm

    I’m glad things are going well for you.

    I used to leave my clothes everywhere, but then one day a year or so ago I stopped cold turkey. 🙂

  6. jane

    October 31, 2006 at 8:31 am

    I love putting the remote in your pre-nup! :thumbsup:
    You’re so right, it’s very comforting to sleep next to a
    man, or a partner that you love. Having slept alone
    for a lot of years makes it all that much better.
    Tarzan doesn’t leave the toilet seat up either &

  7. Robin

    October 31, 2006 at 9:53 am

    Actually we close the toilet seat all together because of the cats and I think it looks nicer anyway :dunno:

  8. Blueyes

    October 31, 2006 at 10:13 am

    Cats solve many problems I’ve noticed, I used to put the toilet seat down as well because of the cat and he had learned that on the first day. It’s always interesting to find out things about people when you start ilving with them because otherwise you might not have known them. It’s all good in the end 🙂

  9. Robin

    October 31, 2006 at 10:16 am

    It’s also strange to have someone know you SO well and you know another person SO well. Nobody knows us like I know Erik and he knows me. Not our friends, siblings or parents. I could write a book about Erik. I think that is so cool and a little unnerving.

  10. Barb

    October 31, 2006 at 4:22 pm

    When we first moved in together, I had to “train” Brian to close the toilet lid because one of our cats like to drink out of it! Nice to know we aren’t the o nly ones!

  11. Robin

    October 31, 2006 at 4:25 pm

    Hi Barb :wave:

    Our cats just drink out of the shower instead :rolleyes:

  12. Barb

    October 31, 2006 at 5:09 pm

    I apologize if I’ve already told you this, but we’ve actually had to stop drinking out of glasses because of this particular cat (Basil). So anything we drink has to be out of a bottle or can. :rolleyes:

  13. Robin

    October 31, 2006 at 6:47 pm

    Barb – I don’t think you told me that. It’s unbelievable how much we change our lives for our pets…they don’t seem to change their lives much for us.

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