I Must Live With It
I must admit, I feel a little bit like a failure. I gave up the position at the newspaper and only after a month really. I just donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t have that kind of time given I work 1 Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â½ away from home and it was really stressing me out. I realize the fact I gave this up means IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve probably given up any chance of ever working with a local newspaper again.
I am ok with the fact I may not be able to do that because truth be told it isnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t what I want to do. I realize that by taking this kind of work could get me better work over time but it just wasnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t my forte :dunno:
The hardest part for me is that I feel like a failure and I feel awful for letting down the editor who gave me such a great opportunity. I wish I could explain all the reasons it was so hard for me but having ADD and having just worked an 8 hour day with nearly 3 hours of commuting and then sit in a meeting until 10pm was just too much for me. I felt myself kept phasing out during the meetings and simply not absorbing the information.
I have an email waiting for me from the editor and IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m afraid to read it. I just really hate disappointing people. Still, I thought hard about this decision and my personal wellbeing was at stake so I did what I felt I needed to do.