I’ve been in an ongoing suffocating rut for a long time now…a very long time and I just can’t seem to figure out how to get out of it. I have no energy to write anything at the moment but I hope the feeling comes back again.

I’m not sure what it was this weekend but at some point I just crashed in a hard way and haven’t been able to pull myself out. I feel bad what Erik has to put up with sometimes regarding my depression and everything. I just don’t think it’s fair sometimes how hard it has to be for him but then again I guess we take our turns.

I just wish I could find that magical something that can fix things but I know it doesn’t work that way. I spent too many years of my life thinking things could be fixed like that only to find out the hard way it’s definitely not the case.

I need to start doing something different.

0 Thoughts on “This Rut

  1. It’s great that the two of you can hold each other up, when necessary. I know that you both appreciate that in each other, too.

    What do you think that you want to do differently? What’s holding you back from doing it?


  2. I am unbelievably greatful for that…I can’t imagine what I would do without that man.

    It’s just me and my low self-esteem :kickcan:

  3. It’s been a while since i’ve done my blog reading, and I appologize, I’ve been so busy these days as you can imagine, I often go through some major ruts my self. I hate it, and I always pray for the day that I jump out of it comes sooner rather then later. You will make it hun.

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