A Writer Not A Journalist
IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve known this for a while and I keep putting myself into these positions where I blatantly realize IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m just not assertive enough to be a journalist. I realize if I keep pushing myself I might get more assertive but IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m not sure IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m willing to go this route.
I went to the meeting on Monday with my pad of paper, pen and little tape recorder. I was nervous but I figured I had a couple days to piece together my notes and whatever I had on the tape.
The meeting was two hours and I could barely hear most of what they were saying due to the fact they were talking quietly and the air conditioning was on. As I listened to them discuss town issues and such I realized how out of my league I really was. Given that I had almost no idea what they were talking about I kept reminding myself I had a tape recording.
After two hours of the meeting I got in my car to go home, a little shaken but I knew I could make it work one way or another. As I was driving down the road I decided to listen to what IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d taped and I was beyond devastated to find out that I couldnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t hear anything. You could hear vague voices in the background but even when I turned up the volume you still couldnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t make out anything :vent:
So I informed the head of the newspaper and he gave me the number to call of one of the other journalists that were at the meeting and thankfully she couldnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t have been more nice. She said she could help me and I tried to get across to her how little I knew about any of this. In college I never took meeting notes, I wrote articles on movies and the occasional editorial.
She told me to never act like I donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t know what IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m doing and to be more confident. She reminded me how important these characteristics are in a journalist.
Part of me doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t want to give up yet and part of me thinks IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m just going down the wrong road for myself. If you saw the pathetic notes I took youÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d laugh, I canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t even figure out what most of it is about.
So, this journey may be coming to an end before it even began but weÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll see. Right now IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m just trying to get an article for this done and then decide if I want to throw in the towel.