Before Erik I really didnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t want to ever get married but IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d always liked the idea of being engaged. Something about marriage has always scared me because it seems that it can ruin a perfectly good relationship. IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve seen a lot of good marriages in the last few years and now IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m starting to think itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s having kids that might ruin the relationship.
Every once and a while IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll make a little comment on how much IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d love to have ErikÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s last name or how cool it would be to call him my husband. From there he usually says ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œwell, letÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s go get married nowÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â and while it seems like a great idea I now feel I want the whole shebang.
I admit it, I want to be proposed to (but not with a diamond) and I want a real engagement. I want to plan a wedding (nothing insane) and I want to have everyone there to be a part of it. I want to have a dress and tell Erik in front of everyone that I want to love him for eternity.
I canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t help but feel a little superficial in wanting this, after all arenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t most weddings just a big party?
Sometimes I think it would be so much more meaningful and special to just go somewhere and have our vows. WeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve always been the kind of couple that doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t do things big and we like things simple.
In the end I might just do the family wedding and also do a thing just for us or maybe just keep the ceremony small and let my family have the big party. Who knows, but whatever we do I know I want the engagement, I just canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t give in on that part :cheesy: