My Stunted Soul

I learned recently from this post that my soul is stunted because I choose not to have children. Because I want to live a childfree life I am selfish and only care about myself.

Maybe that is true but I personally believe life is mainly about yourself and about the people you care about. I try to live my life so I come first because I don’t believe in living for anyone else.

I care deeply about many in my life including my boyfriend, my family, my friends and my furkids. I want them to be happy and healthy but as I see the only ones I am responsible for are my furkids. I mean if I just stop feeding them (and Erik stops too) then they won’t have food.

I think having kids is probably a wonderful thing for many people but certainly not for everyone. I think if more people took having children a little more seriously then maybe there wouldn’t be so much abuse and neglect.

But I guess if having a “stunted soul” means I’m living my life the way that feels right for me despite what society thinks of me then I suppose that’s the way it must be. I just feel sad for the people out there that feel the need to push this way of life onto others; I certainly would never do that to them.

  1. Chris

    July 6, 2006 at 9:12 am

    My question is, without meaning to sound nasty: who told you that you have a stunted soul and why do you care what they think?

  2. Robin

    July 6, 2006 at 9:14 am

    There is a link in the post to the article. I found it offensive and it bothers me people really see it all like this but it certainly doesn’t change my life.

    I should change my css so you can see where the links are :duh:

  3. Chris

    July 6, 2006 at 9:25 am

    Ah, I found it this time!!

    People that say not having kids is selfish are wrong. Wouldn’t it be more selfish to have kids if you didn’t want them? What kind of upbringing would they have then?

    Plus, you know, it’s not like there aren’t enough people in the world already!!!

  4. Robin

    July 6, 2006 at 9:30 am

    There is no logic to it.

  5. a feminist

    July 6, 2006 at 9:56 am

    Oh, when people start on about the “stunting of souls” in relation to the childfree choice, I get so mad I have trouble forming a coherent, articulate response. I’m off to go grumble quietly to myself for the rest of the day now. Idiots.

  6. Sarah

    July 6, 2006 at 11:28 am

    I think those women who have a ton of kids with no way to support them are SUPREMELY selfish, and they have had children. So there. It’s a choice. The world is already overpopulated, and there are plenty of kids out there who are not being taken care of and educated properly. In fact, it seems to me that anyone saying a woman with no kids has a “stunted soul” is already a huge sexist… it’s like saying that’s our only purpose in life.

  7. Robin

    July 6, 2006 at 11:29 am

    Well said Sarah :ohgreatone:

  8. Miss Ann

    July 6, 2006 at 11:45 am

    I had to put in my 2¢ because it’s so totally valid, I want to shove it down her stupid throat and make her gag on it.

    Yours in stunted, selfishness,
    Miss Ann

  9. Robin

    July 6, 2006 at 11:48 am

    Miss Ann – You sure know how to get your point across don’t you :ohgreatone:

  10. s!

    July 6, 2006 at 4:35 pm

    and whoever said that to you probably believes that having kids that you didn’t want will un-stunt your soul? as if that is the sole purpose to life?! sheesh!!

  11. crystal

    July 6, 2006 at 9:31 pm

    I absolutely hate these people who go on and on about how selfish the childfree people are for exercising their right not to breed, and how we’re awful, heartless people who eat babies and sacrifice puppies under the full moon, and the moment someone questions them about their choice, they freak out and are instantly claiming that they’re the best thing in the world, simply for doing something that women have done since forever – having sex and giving birth.

    I feel a rant coming on.

  12. Blueyes

    July 6, 2006 at 10:18 pm

    It just kills me that people still think in this day and age that you need a child, husband, significant other or something to make your life worthy. That’s up to the person to decide. I choose not to have kids either and nobodies going to change my mind about it either.

  13. Miss Ann

    July 6, 2006 at 11:35 pm

    well, obvioulsy I shot her dumb ass down…she replied to others but not to me…odd, that.

  14. Robin

    July 7, 2006 at 8:28 am

    Crystal – Rant away :rock:
    hterry – People can be incredibly ignorant :rolleyes:
    Miss Ann – If I were you I’d take that as a compliment, you got her to shut up :thumbsup:

  15. crystal

    July 7, 2006 at 9:42 am

    She actually deleted Miss Ann’s comment altogether – I’d gone back to the post this morning as preparation for a rant on my site.

  16. Robin

    July 7, 2006 at 9:46 am

    Crystal – That’s just pathetic, truly. If you are a real writer and take this seriously (which she claims to be I looked around on her whole site) then she could take on any commentary. I thought Miss Ann was clever and explained herself very well :dunno:

  17. Maureen

    July 7, 2006 at 1:53 pm

    Well, now I want to see what Miss Ann said :pout:

    I have kids. Taking care of them is one of the most amazingly wondrous thing that my husband & I do together. Sure, some day they’ll be grown & then, I’m sure, we’ll get a new hobby 😀 But, until then, I’m loving it. Raising these kids (even when they’re not making me happy every minute) does enrich my soul. It helps me grow as a person.

    On the other hand, I don’t get why it’s so hard for some people to understand that raising children is a choice that just doesn’t fit for everyone. Just because my husband & I love this doesn’t mean that everyone will. There are people in the world who find joy and meaning in gardening or microbiological research or caring for the overpopulation of pets in the world or collecting Star Trek memorabilia… If *that* helps them to grow into better people, to be joyous, to find meaning in their lives, why in the world should they have children, if having children does not bring them joy & meaning? Why would any person who loves children wish for any child alive to have parents who were not 100% on board with being parents? It isn’t like we have a shortage of human beings in the world.

    And, just because parenting is the most fulfilling thing that I do in my life, doesn’t mean that it will be the same way for everyone. I’m sure that there are some people who go to Star Trek conventions who think that my life would be 100% enriched by the messages in the episodes, but that doesn’t mean that it’s for me (although, it does sound like it might be fun to explore a bit more some day).

    And, I’m thinking that the world might be a better place for all of us, if every child got a little bit more attentive or interactive parenting – if every child was wanted and if every parent really wanted to parent.

    And, now for a laugh in it all… As I was typing all of this, my 6-yo son found a broken flashlight in the basement. He kept coming back to me, asking me to help him find batteries, then, when it didn’t work, wanting me to figure out why, asking if we could get a new lightbulb for it, etc. I was getting annoyed with him, telling him that I needed a minute of quiet so that I could finish what I was writing. aaaarrrgggh!.

    He asked me what I was writing. I told him that I was writing about how much I loved being a parent. 😀

  18. Robin

    July 7, 2006 at 2:07 pm

    :lmao: Maureen, you are the best :heartbeat: Thank you for that, always such a great/honest perspective on parenting. I wish more parents were like you and Jim.

  19. Miss Ann

    July 8, 2006 at 11:29 am

    did that bitch delete my fucking comment?

  20. Miss Ann

    July 8, 2006 at 11:30 am

    are my posts comeing through?

  21. Robin

    July 8, 2006 at 2:40 pm

    Miss Ann – Sorry, I think for some reason your posts are getting moderated and I’m not sure why.

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