My life: the movie

When thinking back on old memories does it sometimes feel like several lifetimes ago? You can feel the texture of the velvet dress, smell the freshly cut grass but somehow it doesn’t seem real enough to touch anymore. It seems when I think back it’s more like watching an old movie again, I can feel the pain, the joy, inside of me but it seems like I’m watching someone other than myself.

Thinking back to my first apartment with Erik it seems like 20 years ago we lived there. It was a tiny apartment, looking back it’s hard to imagine we were able to survive there at all but we did. It was cozy and the perfect place for a new couple to get to know each other and grow into a solid relationship. I can see the tiny kitchen and the very few plates we had at the time in the cupboard. I can see the futon in the bedroom as our bed and the empty walls. I can see us walking down the street on a late summer day in our pajamas to get ice cream. The memory seems so very far away.

I can picture the road trip I went on with Penny and my old greenish Honda Prelude flying down the interstate. I can feel the hot August air hitting my face through the open windows and I can hear the laughter of my best friend beside me as she drove with me to a new, albeit short, adventure on the other side of the world, or so it seemed. I can see us scrunched up in the car in our cut off shorts and our hair pulled back under baseball caps. The world is flying by so quickly I can’t seem to hold on long enough.

Then I sit here today, early in the morning at work with my iced mocha latte and stacks of filing around me waiting to be stored in a nearby cabinet, and I realize this is another little memory waiting to happen. Someday I’ll read this post and think of the day I took a moment to remember a few parts of my past that I treasure more than anything I could ever buy.

Again I file away those memories that I take out from time to time just to make me smile and put them back into the back of my mind where all the others are. Life is fast, life is beautiful and we need to take a moment to remember how perfect it really is. My life is like my own movie, flawed characters, twists and turns and special moments around every corner.


  1. Gary

    April 19, 2006 at 8:00 am

    Nice post. You made ME feel nostalgic.

  2. Robin

    April 19, 2006 at 8:02 am

    Thanks Gary, I’m glad 😀

  3. Gemini

    April 19, 2006 at 9:05 am

    Great post!!

    LOL I often think about our “road trip” And laugh thinking about the things we saw like the double Decker cow trailer (How you Moo’in?) and the purvey truck driver looking at us… not to mention the Chicken hanging out of the back of that other trailer.. lol

    Visuals are good memories… but there are also moments of emotion that I think about too… the feeling of jealousy because you were going to a new area and leaving everything behind to start something new… and I was returning to the same old life.. 🙂 The sense of loss… my Best friend was moving away! I was sad and happy at the same time… The feeling of Pride because I was very proud of you for doing something so out of character and new!

    Memory lane is a happy and sad place! 😉

  4. Robin

    April 19, 2006 at 9:08 am

    Good times. What a week that was, I wish I knew what happened to the pictures 🙁

  5. Gemini

    April 19, 2006 at 9:11 am

    Maybe no pictures are good… no incriminating evidence! LOL

  6. Robin

    April 19, 2006 at 9:24 am

    Penny – Good call. Although I’d love to have a picture of the plastic chicken hanging out of the back of the mack truck 😆

  7. sharlet

    April 19, 2006 at 9:46 am

    Poignant! *call for novel*

  8. Maureen

    April 19, 2006 at 12:18 pm

    What a nice post, Robin!

    I think you capture it just right for me when you say it’s kind of like remembering a movie. Some of my memories seem so far removed from who I am now, that it’s hard to believe that it was really me that I’m remembering.

    And, it’s hard to believe that, some day in the future, what’s happening today will feel the same way.

  9. Robin

    April 19, 2006 at 12:22 pm

    It’s funny, the idea for this post had been swirling around in my head for a while and today I had the motivation to finally write it. I’m glad you liked it 😀

  10. fidget

    April 19, 2006 at 10:46 pm

    I find that as I blog events in my past it’s almost like a movie i once saw… I feel almost detached from it though it floods me with sensory information – smells, feelings, textures

    thanks for being a great landlord this week 🙂

  11. Robin

    April 20, 2006 at 5:42 am

    Fidget – you were a great tenant…thanks for the wonderful comment.

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